Under the Tangled Clouds

Big love for BIG BANG!!!! Winner of Best Worldwide Act at the 2011 MTV EMA Belfast

2011-11-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

After a long hiatus from this blog, I just want to post this entry to share my happiness.

I've mentioned these guys on my blog before. Not only I like their music, I consider them as my fashion muse esp. their leader.

Well, it's a feast for the V.I.Ps around the world today because BIG BANG just won the Best Worldwide Act at the 2011 MTV Europe Music Awards held @ Belfast, Northern Ireland.

I voted! :D and millions of V.I.Ps did! They were this first artist to win this award and they beat Britney Spears!

I feel like a very proud Noona!!! :D

I don't know why because I feel like I'm too old to be included in a fandom and liking a boyband but this group, this group - they are MUSICIANS! and I guess I love them because I was able to watch their documentary film when they were still trainees and knowing that their skills improved TREMENDOUSLY, these guys deserve our love and their awards.

2011 has been tough for them and seeing them all 5 together on one stage was overwhelming :)

Aigoo, my fashion muses! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Ciao!

-J-

The Planking Bandwagon

2011-08-30T18:49:00.001+08:00

Yes we did it...and its quite addicting for reasons we can't understand.

Hopefully, more to come XD

Ciao,

-J-

Sulyap 2 :Pagsilip sa Paggawa ng Pelikula

2011-08-10T13:14:00.001+08:00

This is an entry of gratitude.

This thank-you is already long overdue and my heart is filled with awe.

Enough with the formality. The joy which I would like to share is all about the film making workshop organized by MasKay (Malayang Sining-Kayumanggi) for free. It was held last July 30-31 & August 6 @ Bahay ni Isis.

MasKay Productions

30 Participants were chosen via online application and were divided intro 3 groups to make an indie film to be shown on the last day of the workshop.


L-R: Dane, Van, Sir Ralston Jover, Sir Boy Villasanta, Sir Ching Danseco, Me :)

Among the speakers who shared their knowledge with such enthusiasm and generosity were Ordonie Layson for Animation, Sir Ralston Jover (writer of Kubrador) for Script writing, Sir Nanding Josef for Acting, Sir Nap Jamir II for Cinematography (Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo...), Sir Leo Abaya for Production Design, Sir Danny Anonuevo for Film Editing, Sir Raymond Red for Indie Film making and directing, Sir Jesse Lucas for Film scoring, and Sir Ching Danseco for Marketing/Networking.

I had given up my dream to study film when I was in college but because of this very fortunate event, my dream for film making has been revived. I met a lot of people who are involve in film making whether as a hobby or profit pursuits and each of them are really interesting. My group - SCRATCH PRODUCTIONS - comprise of individuals skilled in different fields.

Working poster :D

We made our first indie film for the MasKay workshop entitled PINTIG. It's in the horror genre and 12 minutes long. We only had one day to shoot and showcased our film on the third day of our workshop.

Our panel "judges" include Sir Ralston Jover and Sir Ching Danseco. We received a lot of constructive criticisms which will help us improve our work and added learning as well. I was in-charge of production design and there were several essential stuff missing that they had to point out. I learned a lot from their opinions and would like to improve on it. During the shoot I was so focus on my make-up artist duties that I completely disregarded about the set! gah!

Nonetheless, we're happy with our results. We can either improve on it or make a completely new concept. I'm just so blessed to be with the people of Group 1 - Scratch productions. Working with them was comfortable and fun!

SCRATCH PRODUCTIONS

Kudos Guys! We have a lot to learn. Looking forward to the next collab!

ciao!

-J-

Dugo-Dugo gang

2011-07-19T12:56:00.000+08:00

Wow...I can't believe that there are still people who will attempt this kind of B.S.

Just this morning, someone called up our house and my younger cousin picked up the call. This guy told her that I got involve in an accident and "we" went to the precinct because the vehicle hit a child and that "we" need money to settle the case. He instructed my cousin to get money from my "jewelry box" and call him so that he can give her the address as to where she can give the money.

My lil cousin was so scared but she told my other cousin who was older than her and they gave me a call. I was pissed when I heard the news and I got scared too because it was the first time we experienced something like that. We were planning to report this to the police but after asking some of my office mates and my dad, they suggested to ignore it.

I guess my only worry is that if one of them might be just near our area and lurking around our house and observing stuff. These people...aish...I don't even what to say.

Just like what my mom told me, we have to be extra careful of who to give our information with esp. now that we have Facebook and Twitter which makes extremely vulnerable to people who wants to take advantage. On the other hand, it would take one ignoramus person for him/her to be victimized.

Ciao

-J-

Myth of the Human Body - Morbidly Fascinating

2011-07-10T23:15:00.001+08:00

As the public know, the Myth of the Human Body is a touring museum of preserved human bodies - meaning they WERE real people - which first shown in Korea.

It is a hit all over the world as people were educated about the methods of Plastination - an innovative technology developed by German anatomist Gunther von Hagens designed to preserve anything that will make it permanent and touchable. Thus thru plastination, human bodies were preserved to showcase even the tiniest nerves and organs and 1-month old fetus.

I was highly intrigued to visit this museum ever since it arrived in Manila last 2010 but didn't have the time and enough enthusiasm. When I learned that it has been extended until December of this year, I immediately dragged my crazy cousin along to see this plastinated human bodies.

Last Saturday, we braved the rain as ride the MRT going to Guadalupe station. The museum is at Bayani Road, Taguig City. I am not familiar with the place so we decided to wait for the cab but since it was rainy and there were no cabs at all, one lady barker pointed us to walk to Jollibee Guadalupe and there we can ride a jeepney going to Bayani Road.

NeoBabylon Building

We were able to reach the NeoBabylon Building and we saw the sculptures of greek gods on top of the banner. Getting excited, we rushed to the ticket booth - entrance fee is P350 each - and we were ushered inside to wait for a tour guide. We asked the guy manning the reception area if we can just look around ourselves (because we were told that we need to wait for 10 minutes to go with a tourguide). He said yes and our excited little feet went to proceed to the first hall.

The little fear bubbling inside me before we arrived at the museum resurfaced the moment we came face to face with the first cadaver holding a throwing disc. The thought that these statue-looking bodies were actually REAL people made me afraid to take another step.

They said that the eyeballs were real and though my cousin was already going berserk because of the exposed muscles and organs of the cadavers, I was just taking cautious baby steps and already decided not to get eye contact with the bodies for the reason that they might blink at me! waah!

Different parts of the human bodies are named after the greek gods and their special characteristics - like for the Reproductive System it's under EROS the god of love.

Although I was initially scared, the more we advanced into the different halls, the more that I get used to the cadavers. The way they were preserved made them more look like mannequins than real humans. I've read in some blogs that the bodies used for the exhibits were donated and you can tell that most of the cadavers have chinky eyes - not sure what nationality though.

The building has 3 floors full of human body parts. Halfway on the tour, you'll be given the opportunity to watch a multimedia presentation about giving birth. We weren't allowed to take photos inside as a sign of respect for the bodies so I'm just going to enumerate my personal highlights of the museum:

- The RED man - it is made of preserved nerves/blood vessels which looked like red cotton.

- The EROS hall

- The pregnant woman with the open womb -

- The ARTEMIS HALL - check out the preserved fetus complete from the egg up to 10 months old.

The museum's concept is perfectly morbid but really educational. It gives you the motivation to stop eating so much fast food, stay away from smokers (lungs of a second-hand smoker is much worse than the smoker itself), and do some exercise.

At the end of the hall, you can take your souvenir photos

Highly recommended for people who want to learn all about health in a morbid and possibly in an effective way. If you're planning to bring your child, assess carefully if your kid can take it when he/she knew that the display were reall people.

Ciao!

-J-

Mentoring...

2011-07-01T13:41:00.000+08:00

How does one person become a mentor to another?

How will you mentor someone when you yourself are searching for mentors?

When someone asks you, "Hey, would you be my mentor?" it does feel burdensome. The responsibility of mentoring does not only encompass the specific field a person asks for teaching (i.e. playing the guitar, cooking, etc). Mentoring - I believe - includes teaching not only the skills but also the values for this will determine the mentoree's success.

A good mentor not only produces a well-skilled individual, it also yields a morally-upright and god-fearing person.

I have my dad as my mentor in aging and enjoying life...still waiting for my other mentors. I need a lot :D

-J-

A Rainy Mossimo Bikini Summit @ Canyon Cove Nasugbu

2011-06-25T08:10:00.000+08:00

Just went to Nasugbu Batangas last Saturday to attend the Mossimo Mr. and Ms. Eco-Tourism Bikini Summit. The event was held at Canyon Cove. It was a last minute invitation coming from C, whose company is one of the co-sponsors for the competition.

Being the backpacker that we are and not wanting to waste a free accommodation, T, C, and I rushed to meet at Taft Mrt station to ride a bus going to Nasugbu. There is little information about Canyon Cove and their website doesn't provide a clear direction going to their resort.

We went out of Taft station to go behing McDonald's (in front of Kabayan) where we were told about the bus terminal going to Nasugbu. We witnessed a long line of people heading to Tagaytay and Batangas waiting for the Batman Star bus to arrive. It took us probably an hour and a half before we got a bus and the clouds warned us of the coming mishaps we're going to experience on the rest of our trip.

Crowded Batman Star bus for the long weekend ahead

Fare going to Nasugbu is 155php.

The dreaded rain began to pour its wrath when we reached Tagaytay plus the heavy traffic which became unbearable - making our travel time to 4 hours.

When we arrived at the Batman Star bus terminal, we hailed a tricycle going to Canyon Cove. It took 15-20 minutes for us to reach the place and the fare is 50php per person. The rain wasn't stopping so we literally ran towards the lobby and can't wait to check in.

Luxurious, crowded lobby of Canyon Cove

C met up with the organizer and we were ushered to the buffet dinner. Food was typical Filipino dishes and we realized that we were so hungry we started devouring the food. Finally, we got our room key from the organizer and excitedly proceeded to our hotel room.

Just when we thought we can instantly jumped into the bed for a good nap, we opened our room finding the bedsheets, the mats, mugs, etc were all used and dirty. Frustrated and tired, we can't help but to feel disappointed and started to demand housekeeping. We knew whose fault was it. There was a major miscommunication and confusion and it didn't make us happy. The organizers weren't able to coordinate the rooms properly because apparently someone used it and transferred the room to us without getting the room cleaned.

Anyways, after the housekeeping accommodated our request, we got ready for the event. Event was suppose to start at 8pm but they started preparing by 8:30pm. Come by 11pm, we heard the hosts started talking and C and I rushed outdoors to witness it --- leaving T behind who chose to sleep.

It was a pre-recorded shoot for a television broadcast perhaps that's why they stop from time to time whenever the rain gets worse. The judges and the hosts were being rained on and they announced "commercial breaks" to wait for the rain to stop. I personally just wanted to take a couple of shots of the models and go to sleep.

A couple of AVPs later, they announced that the male models will be the first to ones to take a walk, I went out of our shed and got myself wet just to get a couple of shots. After that, they decided to take a break once again and C and I made a decision to go upstairs to call it a night.

We learned the next day that they weren't able to finish shooting the event and the rain was still pouring mad --- we didn't know that Egay already arrived --- but after breakfast, we wanted to make the most out of this trip. So T took advantage of savoring the ocean view from our hotel room while C and I took a swim in their lagoon-style pool. Lots of people were also lounging in the pool and despite the rain, some even did small photoshoots of their own.

C was informed that the shoot for the bikini summit will continue on that day and since we can't stay one more night -- and we wanted to go to Tagaytay to eat Bulalo -- we bid them goodbye and we're the only ones who rode a tricycle going to the terminal.

Rainy long weekend but it was worth it.

:)

Ciao!

-J-

Fist of Fury: Yay to the Panda!

2011-05-29T20:55:00.000+08:00

Soft and cuddly, warm and fuzzy, bouncy and...Kung Fu?!

Yay! We were able to catch the newest sequel to the adorable over-sized martial artist to date! It was a random decision to watch a film since we have a kid with us. We asked Baby T if she wants to watch Kung Fu Panda and she immediately said yes.

I haven't gotten over the cute Minions and Agnes' "does this count as annoying ?" cheek popping from Despicable Me (Yes that long...because I kept re-watching the whole film every other 4 months hehe) and then we had to watch Kung Fu Panda 2.

For those who wasn't able to watch the first movie, you have to watch it just because of Baby Po!

Watch this film for good laughs and to-die-for cuteness of our clumsy dragon warrior --- which is erm...a Panda. :D

The plot centers on Po's origins and how he was so shock that his daddy goose is not his real daddy XD and how Po will fight this trigger happy peacock who was a total dickensian. Its a total laugh trip for the whole family, everyone will surely enjoy.

Baby T with Baby Po

May you find your inner peace...

Ciao!

-J-

The Body Shop Body Butter Duo - YinYang of skincare

2011-05-29T00:29:00.001+08:00

Yay! A first review for a skin care product!

The Body Shop has been one of the leading cosmetic brands in the world (also: the second largest cosmetic franchise!). I knew for a long time how The Body Shop is famous for their shower gels, body butters, and their campaigns for natural beauty and eco-friendly products. However, this is the first time I've tried one of their products and I love it!

Body Butter Duo in Macadamia

I was able to try their new release from their body butter line - Body Butter Duo. Its container (200 ml) is similar to their regular body butters but once you open it, that's where you can see the treat.

Inside it is divided similar to the yinyang symbol. The one with the rich texture (darker cream) is for dry areas of the skin (i.e. elbows, knees, soles, etc.), and then the other side with the softer and whiter cream is for normal skin.

Like any of The Body Shop's body butter, a little goes a long way. Just a pinch of the darker cream, it can cover my entire knee or elbow. I like using the cream for dry skin and put it on the soles of my feet since its the driest skin for me. Smelling it on the container may smell weird but once you lather your skin with it and its absorbed in a few seconds, it smells like milk (the macadamia flavor can smell like a mix of shea butter and cocoa).

I love the fact that you're getting two moisturizers in one tub and you can never go wrong with The Body Shop's Body Butter because it hydrates your skin the whole day minus the greasy feeling. Other flavors come in Sweet Pea, Blueberry, and Spiced Vanilla and I believe its sold at P1,095 in all Body Shop stores.

Trivia: Did you know that there's 1 Body Butter being sold in every 2 seconds at The Body Shop?

Just a quick invite: The Body Shop Philippines is celebrating its 15th year, check out the store for their awesome anniversary sale and win awesome prizes!

Ciao!

-J-

HANOEL CAFE - feels like home in Antips

2011-05-21T09:37:00.001+08:00

Antipolo is bursting with new businesses which makes it more than just a pilgrimage city. Before, I used to search online for places to go to in Antipolo (aside from the usual OL places i.e. Padis Point) and they're usually found in the most hidden spots of Antips which makes me lazy to visit. Perhaps it started two years ago when I began to notice several coffee shops near the church and it made me giddy because I won't have to go to Figaro Sta. Lucia to find a place to contemplate my thoughts and write. The main bayan in Antipolo has enough coffee shops to offer with good ambiance for intimate talks, peace of mind while having your daily caffeine fix, and even hookah :D (Seisha anyone?)

Just last Friday, I really wanted to try this young coffee shop called Hanoel Coffee and Restaurant so I dragged my teenage cousin with me. Hanoel is along Circumferential Road, near Shopwise and across Mercury Drug. Its a two-story building, where the restaurant is located at the second floor and the Hanoel is on the first.

Wooden tables and shelves

Opening the door and having a quick glimpse on the place, its really homey. Wooden furnitures, a working piano on the side, and a double deck on the other corner.

We decided to choose the bottom floor of the double deck and I absolutely love it! Its like your little intimate nook where you can just sip your drink and write in peace or even sleep, haha.

cozy double deck

The friendly staff gave us the menu, and since its a Korean coffee shop I wanted to choose something...well, Korean. So instead of coffee, we picked their Patbingsu their Korean version of Halo-halo (P150 each).

Patbingsu!

It came in a huge glass of shaved ice drizzled with strawberry syrup, fruit ring cereals, nata de coco jelly, pineapple slices, sweet red beans, and topped with a hefty scoop of vanilla with choco syrup. I was so intrigued with the pineapples so I decided to have a taste after mixing the ingredients. It's not as sweet as our version of halo-halo because it doesn't have milk and sugar. It's the red beans which gave its sweetness plus the refreshing tangy taste of pineapple makes it more tropical --- suited for our weather. I love this kind of halo-halo! I've seen other versions of Patbingsu online and they usually comprise of more fruits like strawberries, kiwi, mangoes, etc.

While eating, my cousin instantly spotted the Korean guy in white polo shirt (who I recognize as the owner of the shop from other blog entries) and she persistently asked me to have her photo taken with him. I chose to ignore her and after a few minutes, the music being played inside the cafe stopped and it was followed by a slow piano piece. Chris Lee (the owner's name) was playing the piano and he is really good at it. I was mesmerized by the way he plays and can't think of a single doodle to write on the green stick note I got so I can post it on the freedom board.

Freedom board

Chris oppa (haha!) played a couple of songs and my cousin never ceased to insist have a picture with him. In the end, I gave in. After getting our bill, I asked one of their staff if my cousin can take a picture with him and Chris oppa (haha!) gladly said yes.

Cy with Chris Lee

Overall, Hanoel is definitely worth another visit. The double deck is something I find unique and I would love to grab the same spot we chose every time I'll go there. Next time I might try their green tea and eat at their restaurant on the second floor (hopefully they have jajangmyun). Ambiance is good, the staff are friendly, the owner is very accommodating and his piano-playing alone can make you want to come back.

Oh how it would be nice for Antipolo to be the coffee shop capital of the Philippines (minus the usual Starbucks of course) where people can visit esp. during cold days just to hang out in quaint cozy cafes and indulge in the ambiance and the company.

Hanoel fighting! XD

-J-

Hundred Islands + Bolinao Escape

2011-04-14T21:47:00.009+08:00

***Soul Sisters invaded these awesome local spots last November 13-14, 2010. Chan and I attempted to start a blog: "Miss-Wanderers" @ Wordpress but because of the "hectic" schedules, the blog became stagnant. Hence, I am transferring this entry here. :D

The “Nose”

“Archipelagic Doctrine” pertains to the articulation of encompassing concept of territorial area belonging to the Philippines 7, 107 islands and its waters if I remember it right. I find the word-tandem easy to remember and even attach chic, assured and grand essence to it hence, the title for this island hopping album.

Upon the conclusion of an appreciation night which ended roughly 2am because of added misadventures, I went straight home to embark on a trip going to Pan
gasinan which by the way took us years to arrange. It was absolutely worth all the hassle.
So we went north, almost in the middle of Luzon to catch a glimpse of some 124 islands in addition to connecting formations we have heard of. Throughout the tour, we were blessed with fine weather and the bluest yet vivacious sea of South China. People of the area are beautiful, cheerful and kind enough to extend affectionate assistance to exploring strangers.
Aside from the fine weather, we were blessed with people who showed us kindness and willingly helped to make our stay comfortable and fun. Espi from Bing’s, Rogelio our tour guide and motorbike driver, Nestle the Treasures of Bolinao rep, Jay ToB manager and Mang Marcelino the boatman for our Hundred Islands tour. Look for them in case you get the chance to visit and please say we appreciate their help.
This has been the first indefinite location to me and also, the only time I felt like getting a henna tattoo just for the hypothetical artsy look. Highlights were; Giant Clam shell site snorkeling, Cape Bolinao Lighthouse picture taking, gorgeous Treasures of Bolinao ocular and speedy shore transfers.

Cape Bolinao

Side note, Pa & Ma labelled us “lakwatseras” and thought that Twinkle looks like a boy, Chiky thanked Jevah for her marshmallow while I wish to go back with family and friends.
- C -

Here’s our itinerary just in case you’re searching for a guide for your trip

November 13-14

Day 1
4:30 am – Victory Liner Cubao terminal going to Alaminos. (This is Victory Liner’s first trip. Fare going from Cubao to Alaminos is 347php)

10:30 am – Arrived Alaminos Bus terminal
- Hailed a tricycle to stop shortly at the market (We bought pork to barbecue but there are small eateries at the Tourist Welcome Center just in case you don’t want the hassle of eating in between the tour)
11:00 am – Arrived at the Hundred Islands Welcome Center (Lucap Wharf)

- Stress began as there were so many decisions to make. We only planned to take the small boat for 3 people (800php) but its limited to 3 islands only. We wanted to maximize the tour so we picked the boat good for 6-10 people (1,400php overnight rate, unlimited island) because we wanted to go cave diving at Imelda cave. We added 600php to rent a set of Lifejacket (to wear
outside the boat), swimming shoes, and snorkeling gear (its 250php each set but since we availed 3 set, they gave it to us for a total of 600php) and we paid for the entrance fee of 30php each(?) to able to stopover at Quezon Island. (If you want a nice boatman who will go the extra mile to make your trip worth it, you can look for Manong Marcelino. We’re thanking them because they’re so nice.) >>> Highlights: Marina Island (favorite!), Governor Island’s highest peak, PBB house, Snorkeling at Coral Garden and Clam Farm. We weren’t able to go cave diving at Imelda Cave because the waves were wicked. Oh well, next time
4:00pm – Finished Hundred Islands tour
5:00pm – Headed to Bolinao. (from Alaminos, ride a tricycle going to CSI (its a chain of grocery/mini malls in the North I think) Alaminos and you can ride a van going to bolinao. Fare is around 50php if I remember it correctly.
6:00-6:30pm – Arrived at Bolinao Bayan.
6:30 pm – With the help of very kind co-passengers from our van, they hailed a tricycle for us especially when they knew that we don’t know anything or anyone at Bolinao. The usual fare going to Brgy. Patar is 150php. Local drivers can charge newbies double, so better to haggle.

- Oh Lordie! It was already dark, they have curfew hours, and the roads only had minimal lights! The trip going to Brgy. Patar was reaaaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyy long! Bumpy, dusty, and scary! C and J were just muttering to each other because we’re getting scared and holding our breaths.

8:00pm – Finally arriving at Bing’s Resort. We paid the tricycle 200php. He initially charged us 250php but we haggled to 200php. We didn’t haggle any lower because upon realizing how long and tedious the trip to Patar was, we thought the 150php fare is justifiable, 50php served as a tip eventhough he didn’t do anything special.

- We were greeted by Espi, one of the attendants at the resort. The place was already dark and we were the only ones checking in. They gladly accommodate us and escorted us to our room. We rented the cheapest room (1,500 php per night good two with AC).

- We weren’t really picky with hotels since Bing’s was already the most affordable accommodation with decent ammenities along Patar. The room was so-so, there were two large bed good for four people but you have to pay extra for the third and fourth pax.

Day 2
6:00 am – Wake up call.
- Seeing the beach in the morning is always a beautiful sight. Prep for a tour.
8:00 am – We asked the resort if they can call a tricycle for us to show us around the town. Instead of a tricycle, they offered their motorbike which we arranged to pay for 400php for gas. We were more than happy! Riding a motorbike in the open fresh air is the best!!!!
8:15 am – From Bing’s, its just approximately 15 minutes going to Treasures of Bolinao. It was our first stop. We decided to look around the hotel to check if we can s
tay there next time. The rates are hella high but once we saw the ocean view suites, we totally said we should go back and stay there for at least one night!
- From their resort, we walked on the side to go to beach which is actually part of South China sea already! The sand is fine and there were few people kayak-ing. The water is crystal clear and we took advantage of lounging and swimming there.Good life!
9:30 am – Went back to the bike and proceeded to Cape Bolinao to take some shots. Breath taking view!
9:50 am or so – We went to visit one of the caves there, the nearest cave is Cindy’s cave. We were the only visitors and we went down to look at the cave. Its fresh water and people can swim there. The water was surprisingly cool. The Mano
ng who owns the cave shared some really interesting stories about treasures used to be buried there.
10:15 am – We decided to lounge back to Bing’s resort before we check out at 12nn. I think we came at the right time and season, because the sun was glaring hot (just good enough for a perfect tan!), and yes the water is too shallow but it was swimmable for us! We happily enjoyed the beach and since we were the only ones checked in at Bing’s, we felt like we rented a whole island.
12nn – We were feeding ourselves bread and instant cup noodles the whole time, so when we checked out we brought our two canned goods with us and requested the resort to have it cooked (50php for cooking). We ordered rice as well (20php per cup of rice).
- After eating heartily, they called a tricycle for us and we were off to Five Star bus terminal.
Fare is 150php.
1:00pm – Arrived at terminal. Fare from Bolinao to Cubao is 405php.
1:45 pm – Off to Manila.

Good Life!

There you have it. It was an awesome trip and definitely going back there to spend a night at Treasures of Bolinao with the whole gang and visit the other tourist sites we missed at Bolinao.

Off to our next Miss-Adventures

- J -

going back to poetries

2010-11-24T01:09:00.002+08:00

erm...its been a long time since i wrote something...not that good though...but it i'm slowly getting back there...

in the middle of this life that now i have
i know i haven't found my place under this sun
hidden, in the dark sky, in the night sky
this airplane of life fly out with no lights
struggling, to make wishes to the never-ending blackness
i can't pretend i don't see the sadness,
and the emptiness
this cycle of corporate glamour today.

and i don't know what i'll do to make you see that I~~~
just want to boil in my own dedicated passion
something to start-up the fire thru this ignition
everyday i try to search for the answers
with my suit and tie to say my prayers
coz in the end, after i climbed that ladder all i'll see
an empty vision of what's left of me.

i dont know what it means to me...
to be living in a lie for practicality
i don't know what it means to me...

ciao

jevay \m/

Just a quick glimpse of obsessing over clothes...

2010-10-19T22:44:00.046+08:00

Self-proclaimed recessionista, ukay girl, vintage girl, thrift store junkie, etc.

But I don't really shun designer stuff. In fact, I totally dig them.

Its just that I can't afford them.

And if ever I come across a Prada jacket or a Marc Jacobs dress at an Ukay store, they all look tattered and simply not wearable.

There are few designers which caught my interest these past few months. You see, I'm lovin' this Korean group "BigBang." Nope they're certainly not like Super Juniors or whatever Kpop group crap who performed here in Manila. They cover a wide range of genres from electro-Jpop to hiphop and most importantly, they have the most wicked fashion sense I've ever seen.

Yes, my fashion muses are five Korean guys instead of a female...actually its BigBang's leader G-Dragon who's inspiring me a lot about fashion :D

In his most avant-garde.

Underneath that furry head dress was his signature pineapple half-shaved hair style.

GD is a hot fusion of everything.

I've seen how this guy changed his hairstyles and looks and continuing to reinvent himself. What's so good about him is whatever clothes he wear he carries with spunk and swag. I've read a lot of reviews and interviews from Korean fashion critics and they always mention that G-Dragon match the attitude that comes with the clothes. If he's going for the preppy cute look, he will be the preppy cute school boy. I believe clothes should be somehow appropriated with the right kind of attitude to be able to carry a look really well.

Wearing Junya Watanabe's quilted nylon jacket I want to snag!

The leopard print cap I want for myself!

G-Dragon was a huge influence on
my love for anything animal print!

BigBang quirked my interests to look at designer clothing because they wear it so damn fine. They're the perfect walking advertisement to make even a female like me to want to wear what they wear.

As doing some of my research and stumbling upon Ebay, I have gathered 3 of my favorite designers so far. They have the items that I wanted to buy for myself and at the same time, they also serve as inspirations for my fashion-lovin', style-hungry self (even though I dress sloppy).

First up!

RICK OWENS

I was having lunch alone in this Mexican restaurant and I picked up a magazine about New York fashion. I flipped to the first page which my finger caught and a photo of a long-haired guy with a naked model in front of him laid out in front of me. I read through it and it was about how this fashion designer Rick Owens started his career. Then, my eyes read this short sentence which Mr. Owens uttered to the model:

"Freak is the compliment of the highest order."

This one-liner got me interested to this guy and searched for his items. Ooohh...the plain blacks and whites~~~ He has the minimalist appeal and most of his collections are the deconstructed type. Just my style. I guess 'black' is my universal color --- one thing I can never escape no matter how I try to look for splashes of colors. Black will always be my thing and I found my master through Rick Owens.

Just like how Sho Sakurai defines the color black: "Not Assertive but has Strength," Rick Owens embodied every piece with his moody and dark avant gardism. The white becomes black and vice versa.

One of the many Rick Owens jacket I fell in love with :D

I'm personally a huge fan of jackets even though I live in a sunny humid country. I like taking advantage of the rainy and December seasons to wear something meant for winter. As I rummaged Google for other Rick Owens finds, I just drooled on every biker leather jacket I found. He's so good at those stuff and those leather rocker jackets are the type I really wanted to own even since I discovered rock music when I was 10.

Rick Owens eccentric cardigan I want to have this as an added twist to any colorful cocktail dress

Just fell in love with this cropped jacket!

CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN

Love him not because of the signature killer stilettos.

He caught my interest when I was in the middle of my obsession of finding myself some animal print clothing. I spotted T.O.P of BigBang wearing a pair of dope leopard print sneakers!

TOP's original leopard print Louboutin

A close-up of Rantus Orlato High Louboutin

My version: Witchcraft label from Greenhills :D

nonetheless I love 'em

Since I can't afford those Louboutins, I scoured the local malls to find a similar pair and I got lucky when I went to Greenhills! I bought it instantly the moment I saw it :D

Of course if we're talking Louboutin shoes, the fiery red soles would be its signature attribute. Christian Louboutin was right when he thought of making the soles red : it did give a certain attitude to the shoes. If I would be wearing a pair of his shoes I think I would just try to tiptoe as often as I can to flaunt those red soles. They're my favorite! As I was roaming around SM Malls I noticed that one of the local shoe companies adopted the red soles of Louboutin. I don't know if it was similar though since I haven't seen an actual pair of CL myself.

Christian Louboutin shoes are known for its sky high heels! The designer symbolized it as a source of femme power deriving his inspiration from a museum signage warning female visitors not to wear sharp heels to avoid damaging the wooden floors. That was an interesting origin. I suddenly remember this quote when I watched this film from Amanda Bynes "She's the Man"

"Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway."

I never knew that it would make the butt look smaller...but hard to runaway in heels is a yes.

I just love looking at women wearing heels. It looks pretty and although I want to try walking in a pair of stilettos, I can't bear to walk several steps in them! But I have a couple of moderate heels which I wear from time to time to get used to walking in elevated shoes...

I think this kind of heels I can bear...I have a pair of ankle boots that have the same height

With these...I don't think I can't stand to even finish a whole song

Enough with the heels...I want to finish the Christian Louboutin entry with another BigBang inspired craving. Aside from the Rantus Orlato, another pair of sneakers that I want to wear myself from Louboutin's collection is his "Louis" Studded sneakers! Gaaahh! This is one of the fanciest sneakers I've ever seen! G-Dragon and Taeyang wear them, Pharell Williams too, Swizz Beatz, Rihanna, etc. I personally love the Black Studded Louis Sneakers. I could just put on a plain black top and skinny jeans then these studs! I'm off!

These are deadly and lush! Gimme!

Of course the fiesty red soles!

TSUMORI CHISATO

Whimsical... It was the word which was written to describe the dress I wanted to bid at Ebay. Then the name "Tsumori Chisato" was attached to it. The first word that came to mind when I clicked to enlarge the photo was "Cute." However when I searched for other Tsumori Chisato stuff at Ebay there lots of people bidding and each piece (all second-hand) was so intricately detailed to be sold at a beginning price of 250php! But lo, those TC items were sold with final bids at 1000+php!

Enough blab about Ebay...its just that I found myself searching Chisato's dresses at Ebay and at other possible online stores. I even made an oath to snag a dress or two when I go visit for my next Ukay hunt! The doodles on her dresses were so cute and although there are lots of things going on in one dress, each color is alive and very well coordinated. A pleasant splash instead of an eyesore.

I immediately checked out her website: www.tsumorichisato.com and I felt like I didn't have to read her background because her designs alone captivated me. It was 'whimsical' because I felt it is equated with the word 'dreamy.' I feel like when you wear her piece, there's a whole new world drawn in front of you and you're wearing it!

Whimsical

Dreamy

I would just like to grab one of these dresses, wear it to the office and give my Boss one hell of a shock. I don't know...but the more eccentric piece of clothing I wear the more I become confident. Maybe because I already know I look like a freak to begin with so there's no choice but to walk with my head high and don't give an F. On the contrary, I don't have so many eccentric clothes in my closet. To my peers my choice are already weird but it still doesn't suffice me. But Tsumori Chisato satisfies me absolutely!

I would love to wear one of her quirky dresses then top it off with a Rick Owens biker leather jacket! I love matching clashing styles (i.e. going to office wearing a pair of corporate slacks and my high-cut Chucks). I was browsing some of her collections and I did find some items which are on the minimalist side like this one:

The cuts and the flow is still Tsumori!

There you have it. My blabs about clothes are done! Let me finish it with another Tsumori Chisato creation.

I totally dig this from top to bottom!

Ciao!

jevay \m/

makeup! makeup! makeup!

2010-10-01T12:52:00.008+08:00

...been contemplating about it for months as to when I started having this kind of obsessions with makeup...

Every time I look around - from billboards, magazines, malls, etc - I see colors and I imagine myself holding a brush.

I was recently thinking about being serious with this craft. Whether to earn income or to be just a plain hobby.

What I have in mind is to be a Visual Artist like Gordon of MAC. I have fascination with bronzers, avant-garde eyeshadows, nude lipsticks, and winged eye makeup. Its driving me insane how odd the switch of my interest is but I find joy in makeup...

Eye makeup on my cousin

Self makeup from one of the hobby photoshoots

As to when I would want to be serious about it...it is ASAP. In my own little way I've been practicing contouring and blending on my own. I envied those people I knew who already went to makeup school but I'm taking my time... because I know I'll be entering into a world where enhanced beauty and the aesthetics are important and it will be such a challenge... I.Can't.Wait. :D

jevay \m/

Your absence...

2010-09-18T22:32:00.003+08:00

...provides insecurity to my day-to-day life

...makes me miss our love to eat-out together

...forces me to make decisions...unsure of everything without your opinion that I always rely on...

Before, I always wish that I can do things, think things, make things on my own...but I've realized its not that fun without your antagonism, your loud voice belting out your concern for me, everything...

you feel so distant and i feel so lost...

but i know you're watching and i will do my best not to fail you.

I'll take you to the Philippines...

2010-06-19T21:52:00.013+08:00

My recent vacation just last June 4-14 made me appreciate my homeland once again.

I was with my relatives from the US and UK and they were in a "culture shock" the moment they stepped foot in Phil.

I think what shocked them the most was how our drivers do their thing on our public roads. Speeding, overtaking, crisscrossing from one lane to another, and etcetera...

Well I must admit its quite scary - the confidence of our drivers in terms of their skills.

I was torn between shame and humor...because its a bit funny to me to see their reactions.

Our country has...Government flaws? Given. Pasaway People. Given.

But there are lots of things to be proud of our country than these stuff.

Like?

BORACAY!

It may not encompass a huge percentage of positive Philippines but coming back to Boracay on off-peak season, less people, and blessed with sunny weather in June...it made me realized that I'm lucky I have Boracay in my country.

Pristine sand, blue-green clear water, the sun, and the people. Its a little United Nations in there. So many people from around the globe fell in love with Bora's natural beauty and the lifestyle.

It would be advisable to stay at a beach front hotel because you can see the view of the shore from your room or from the buffet table and you can just walk in seconds to reach the Bora water. And if its meal time, you won't go wrong if you try one of the many sea-side buffet dinner lined up from Station 1 to 3 of Bora.

Don't get conscious about body weight because of all the rice, grilled meat, and freshly grilled oysters you ate. You can still wear a bikini with your protruding tummy, people won't care, and people won't tease. As one of my cousins said, "There's always someone who's better than you, and there's always worse than you." So flaun it. Fearlessly.

Its Bora, why waste the sun, sand, and the sea by covering in Capri and t-shirt?

Though most people say Boracay is overrated, I think it has not lost its charms. In fact, there are still so many things left to be discovered.

Next time, lets aim for a tat.

:D

Ciao!

jevay \m/

p.s. all photos taken by Jevay <3

A cross between Ukay hunt and finding THE guy...

2010-05-27T18:05:00.000+08:00

Finding/Acquiring/Searching for "The One" is like an Ukay Hunt.

In the middle of a huge pile of dirty dusty second-hand stuff, in a hot dingy old shop, you scour patiently to find clothes that will perfectly fit you. After hours and hours of accummulating dirt in your hands because fo the search, you suddenly find this brand-new dress with the tag still attached to it and hidden behind acid-washed second-hand leggings and flimsy colored-run tops. You know you have to get it because in an ukay hunt when you pull out a pretty piece in heaps of dusty used clothes... you know its meant for you. You found a treasure in a haystack.

Finding "the One"...I haven't found that "piece" yet. It may take long but I guess there's a purpose why God made me wait so long...

I'm excited to meet him.

Of Apparitions and Kicks

2009-12-05T16:12:00.003+08:00

Just bought Urbandub's latest album "The Apparition." I only listened to it twice so i haven't really gotten in-depth with the words and the music but I know its still awesome.

I personally love the first single from this album called "Gravity." The lyrics has the same intensity with Faspitch's erotic songs such as "Dweller." For me its a hard core porn shadowed by the romantic lyric style of Gabby Alipe. "Gravity" starts off with a heavy-riffed intro similar to their songs from their very first album "BIRTH" and then it shift its mood into a bit-danceable bridge with the infectious oh-oh-oh~~~ melody.

I had fun just sitting inside one of the coffee houses in Greenbelt, listening to the Apparition while reading its lyrics spread. I have to listen to it again to provide a detailed opinion for the album.

I love URBANDUB.

Yun lang yun. :D

p.s. this day is the first time I've seen guys salivating on shoes...haha, its a crazy culture, the sneaker world.

Outie!

Jevay \m/

2009-12-04T01:02:00.003+08:00

a scrap of stolen time for myself...

URBANDUB!

i would prefer to be Jevay...Jenny is an image of a corporate photo frame whose soul is trapped and buried in a pile of unfinished businesses...

Jevay is free, simple minded, in love with small trinkets of life.

peace \m/

-still healing-

Jevay \m/

Timeline of a disaster...

2009-09-29T08:26:00.007+08:00

Death was the previous topic and deaths dominated this country when a typhoon brought a one-month amount of rainfall.

I thought walking from Katipunan to Sta. Lucia during a storm when I was in my college sophomore year was the worst but this...- though it was nothing compared to
Mama's passing - this was the worst experience in my whole commuting life.

But still...I was blessed.

In the middle of being stranded, I was blessed with people who helped me whether in rescuing or providing their company while we crossed the waist-deep flood.

Just to flashback...

Saturday morning (09-26-09) and it was my third day at my new job. I was looking forward to spend my weekend when heavy rain poured that morning. It was raining hard but just like any of us thought, it looked tolerable.

10:00 am: after two hours of arriving in the office, the rain plus the wrath of the wind already covered the entire sky. It looked foggy everywhere.

12 pm: Finished my shift and timed-out. Braved the wind and the heavy downpour to find out that there was no shuttle bus going from Global City to Ayala MRT.

12:30 pm : Walked around The Fort to find a taxi and saw one. My umbrella was blown by the wind and Manong Driver (oh! bless him!) was kind of enough to get out of the car and saved my umbrella in the middle of the road.

1:00 pm: Dropped me off to Market!Market!

2:00pm : While wandering aimlessly at the mall not knowing what to do, I decided to wait for a jeepney going to Guadalupe and luckily, a taxi driver whose home is in Cainta asked me to hop in for free.

4:00 pm: After the excruciating traffic going to Ugong, I stepped out of the taxi (Bless this driver as well!) and decided to walk to Petron E.Rod. because I badly needed to pee. Before I even reached my destination, I slipped on this moldy slippery gutter and skinned my right knee in view of the hundred vehicles trapped in the highway. That mini-show earned a few "oh!" from the some drivers and I never looked back. I just continued walking while my knee bled like nothing happened.

4:30 pm: Reached the end of the traffic in Ugong and the view of the chest-deep flood in front of Tiendesitas and hyper market unveiled in front of me. Even the huge trucks weren't able to cross it and it was silent all over E.Rod.

A few minutes later...

I really wanted to go home. Together with the Manongs and Kuyas and one woman, I went with them to cross the dirty flood water. However, when the water was reaching my calves and saw a floating cockroach --- I decided to stop. Remembering I have a fresh wound and I never ever did cross a "baha" before, I was left by the group while they bravely crossed the chest-deep water. I felt like chicken shit because I badly wanted to go home but I turned back on one of the few chances of getting to Antipolo.

5:00 pm: With a very frustrated and tired and hungry heart, I crossed the foot bridge where, luckily, a Shell station with a 24-hour service Jollibee was situated. Had dinner and walked back and forth to check on the water level and for any rescue that might be available.

9:00pm: Saw my grade school classmate Hans. We chatted and then back to waiting.

11:00 pm: Hans called me to say that we can go with an Army truck who was heading to Tahanang Walang Hagdan where handicapped children were trapped.

11:00 pm - 8:00 am (Sunday): Still inside the Army truck where different stories were shared, struggling to snag some sleep, no water, no food, and inject some humor into the devastating situation together with the mighty soldiers.

8:30 am: With the army truck trap in the middle of intersection where every road to Tahanang Walang Hagdan is in waist/chest-deep flood, Me and my other companions inside the truck decided that we cannot wait. Its either we go home crossing dirty waters or we wait without doing anything.

9:00 am: Me, Ms. Karen, and Kuya Albert hitched in a huge ten wheeler. They have to both of my arms and dangle me, for me to be able to get inside the large container area where other stranded peeps squeezed in just to go home.

---after a few minutes ----

The three of us were getting impatient. The truck was only moving an inch or two due to the heavy flow of traffic. We thought we can move forward easily with our own feet. We weighed the disadvantages first between going to Junction or to Masinag. Masinag won because we're going to endure just one area of flood-water.

--- and off we go ---

after the long walk, we crossed the waist flood-water along marcos hi-way going to Masinag...met a lot of people instantly striking up a conversation regarding their experiences from the previous night...Finally, we reached the dry land in Masinag where jeepneys were waiting for us.

I was relieved but at the same time, I was amazed at myself for enduring that kind of experience. It was one hell of a story and it made me realized a few things:

1.) When you pray to HIM, he'll hear you and will respond in the most unexpected way.

2.) You cannot go anywhere if you opt to wait for a long time. You have to get your move on to be able to get somewhere.

3.) I'm blessed.

Ciao!

Jevay \m/

thoughts of lamentations...

2009-07-08T19:05:00.002+08:00

death is sudden...unexpected...a thief...

i now ask:

"why am i moving forward so easily?"

or am i?

maybe because i did not allow myself to pause for a couple of days to really think about it.

i think after what had happened, i haven't stopped running and moving.

it's making me tired but if i stop, all misery will come flooding in and i'm scared that i might go insane just thinking about it.

after a death...

should someone have a period of mourning? of suffering? of remembering the pain?

i did not have that.

everyday is just another 24 hours to escape those feelings of pain...i'm afraid to stop and reflect.

though it felt like years ago, though the final seconds i was with her look like scraps of memories - flashes of light - there is always a huge empty spot inside.

i have so much love to give but she already left...

i love you so much mama

please take care of me and papa.

we need to live for each other.

Sugoi ne ~~~ (of guitar calluses and Booty Music)

2009-05-06T09:49:00.005+08:00

....further...

I'm halfway through my guitar lessons and practicing hard 1-2 weeks after every weekend session that I have.

...and though i've been playing guitar amateurishly for almost 10 years, this is the first time i witness the slow growth of calluses in my fingers!

>>> may not be the softest and most appealing hand in the world...but it plays a mean guitar1 <<< (may this be my goal)

Subarashi indeed! hehehehe...

the pinkie finger needs more work and i need a callus to grow in it to be able to play much stronger. it's awesome when i think of it and the motivation of practice helps me see my progress day by day.

Its about to end and i'm quite sad because it will take me several months or so to earn for the tuition fee for the next set of session. 12 sessions are definitely not enough! i've learned a lot of things...about myself and i'm glad to see my negative and positive poles at the same time.

pssshhh....anyway, i'm into RnB music lately and been listening "nonstop" to this song called "Booty Music" by Deepside. Its so catchy that i can consider it as a crime! hehehe. well, i seldom like RnB songs but this one won me over --- alongside Ne-yo's "Closer."

this song is so much fun to dance (*closet dancer* >>> points to herself).

Let me see you pop it!

Ciao!

jevay \m/

Power Quote

2009-04-15T06:31:00.004+08:00

"...it is in the 'state of nothingness' that i feel the freedom of innocence once in a while..."

- Satoshi Ohno
on waiting for a fish to bite the bait while fishing

i don't know if these are the exact translation but i just read this somewhere...Credit goes to the one who translated it but these are not the exact words...i think...

These are just profound words from Riida...

he made fishing so profound whenever he mentions it...

jevay \m/

North exploration

2009-04-14T13:13:00.007+08:00

last week: saiko desu! (the best!)

A quarter of my college friends and I embarked on a trip going to the North, namely Abra and Vigan. Chel, Twinkle, and I (we missed Shasta and Stephy...) jumped in the Partas bus as 'chance passengers' to head to Twinkle's hometown: Dolores Abra!

Meeting at Gateway, we went off from Manila at aroun 9pm with fare costing P585 and our seats were located at the very back since we just grabbed the seats that were vacant to take an earlier trip. There were loads of people heading off to the North and like us, they were there to take advantage of the long vacation for the Holy Week.

After 11 hours of travel time, we finally arrived at Abra's capital Bangued at around 6 am. It does not end there, we had to take an hour drive before we can reach Dolores.

It really is true...Abra is one of the most underrated provinces in the Philippines in terms of beautiful sceneries. When the sun is in its highest glory, the surroundings are blanketed with the prettiest shade of sepia. The soil, the crops fields, the shrubs, and the Abra river below the long gorgeous bridge.

we had so much fun! Twinkle's family from Abra to Vigan is so warm and hospitable...they really take good care of us!

Thank so much Turqueza Family!!!!

jevay \m/

sigh

2009-04-01T06:00:00.005+08:00

i.want.this.
so bad!

my stomach is churning by just looking at it...
*sigh*

jevay \m/

Power Quote

2009-03-31T13:24:00.003+08:00

"...I don't speak of sophistication because I don't have one..."
- jevay

*snorts*

does this even have power?

\m/

Ohno Satoshi...

2009-03-31T05:37:00.005+08:00

I remember watching an old footage of Arashi while they're at backstage. Nino and Ohno were hanging out in their green room and this kind of talk transpired.

Ohno: Ja...I have to go...

Nino: Riida....say something funny to the camera before you go.

Ohno: ....

Nino: Riida

Ohno: GOVERNMENT

Nino: *cackles* Oi! That's not funny!

Government?! Of all the funny words he could think of, Riida picked government! Oh Riida you adorable you! You're going to be the death of me!

Jevay \m/

black...

2009-03-26T15:45:00.006+08:00

I've been changing my colors lately...

before, i would choose the darkest and blackest theme for every internet sites that i have due to the fact that i love the color black.

now, i've been switching those black templates to cheery bright oranges and bits of greens.

i still love the color black.

it is the color which represents the 'unknown' and it is the only 'unknown' which i'm not afraid of.

its mysterious stretch of glowing darkness fascinates me.

though in reality, i'm afraid of the dark and in everything that i don't have any knowledge...the color of the 'unknown' is the only thing which makes me feel that it is worth it to like something that most people associate with death, misery, and emptiness...

as Sho Sakurai put it:

"Black is not assertive but it has strength..."

Music Weekend: Of Francis M. and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

2009-03-09T10:36:00.005+08:00

So many things related to music have happened during the last weekend. A sad moment for the entire country especially for those who are attached to the development of Pinoy rap.

On the 6th of March of this year 2009, Mr. Francis Magalona passed away.

It was a sudden news since I have the impression that he was doing good with his treatments against leukemia. It brought shock to the public and his death was such a waste because he is the legend of Pinoy Rap. I was watching his tribute show in Eat Bulaga and suddenly felt nostalgic when an old video of Francis M. played showing his live performance of "Mga Kababayan Ko." His buzzed haircut and his colorful Muslim-inspired clothing were really really nostalgic. The song itself reminded me so much of my childhood having last-song-syndrome when I was five years old. Before Philippine Nationalism was even identified with Manny Pacquiao, the likes of Francis M. instilled that pride of being Filipino through his infectious easy-to-remember songs.

Would it take a long time for another musician like Francis M. to have that huge influence to incorporate Philippine Nationalism in trends, music, and in the over-all Philippine pop culture?

Rest in Peace Master Rapper!

Francis Magalona: 1964-2009

On the lighter and happier side of life.

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus have finally arrived in the Philippines!!!!

AND

I.WAS.THERE.

Hyperventilating mode once again, by the time each of member of the band entered the stage situated in the middle of the activity center... I was in heaven!

Since last year of May I've already been hooked by their sound and was desperately praying that they visit the Philippines and perform. Voila! After almost a year they will have consecutive shows in Ayala Malls! I've been waiting for this band to come and I really could not afford to miss their show. So I immediately grabbed the chance to snag a seat for their Glorietta stint! Yeah, Yeah...I have to admit...I have a huge huge huge crush on Ronnie Winter (the vox) and to finally see him in the flesh to sing and to SCREAM...it was heaven all over again!

Man...by the time they entered the stage Ronnie was wearing that huge white flashy sunglasses that I've seen him wearing during his interviews for Warp Tour. I was a bit disappointed because I couldn't see his face but his voice was in good condition when he opened the first track of the gig, their latest single "You Better Pray." The whole band sounds great live! The GUITARS (awww...I really think Duke is so hugely freaking adorable! and Joey is a hottie!), the DRUMMING! (wohoo Jon! you adorable you! you kick ass playing that ensemble!), and Ronnie's screams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't contain my own insanity, as I went nuts when I heard him screaming on the first song!

The thing is, when they have released their new album there aren't so much screaming like what they had on "Don't You Fake It." Maybe because since they've decided to change a bit in terms of their music or maybe Ronnie's health had an influence on the decrease of the screaming parts. That's why I wasn't kind of expecting that he will scream!

Oh boy did he scream...A LOT! Everytime he screamed I will either shrieked or be open-mouthed!

MR. WINTER YOUR SCREAMS ARE SOLID & BEAUTIFUL!

It was pure bliss hearing Ronnie scream live! With the whole band in front of me - probably around 15-20 feet away from the stage - my weakening eyes strived to see all of them clearly but my ears did not fail to give me a smooth reception of Ronnie's screams despite of the teenagers shrieking around me. Ronnie Winter's screams are pure audio orgasm!

Well, another aspect which made me going nuts during the entire gig...Ronnie is really absolutely HOT. When he took off his sunglasses, I was just staring at him with my mouth hanging open! The long hair is just the way I've seen it on YouTube - just a bit darker - beautifully waved and shiny even from afar. The way he held the mic and of course...again...his screams are total HOTNESS! He was absolutely good looking!

Enough of the visual candy....let's proceed to the performance itself.

They have a new guitarist - although I'm not sure if he is just a tour guitarist or a permanent replacement of Elias - named Matt. I swear he looks like Jack Black! Even the way he played the guitar, it was as manic and awesome like Tenacious D.! He was funny and entertained the crowd during short breaks and of course, showing off his bad-ass guitar skills! Matt seem to blend well together with the band.

As I've mentioned, the whole band played really great live! The way the music should sound like, the details of the guitars, I can actually hear them and it sound so good! Ronnie's voice on the opening track was solid however as the show went on, he started to decline a bit on the higher notes. He moved a lot so I guess, the tiredness was sinking in and he was grasping for breath. I'm not exactly sure regarding the bronchitis he had before - if it has any after effects after the operation - but I was a bit agitated when he was consistently clutching his chest everytime he screams.

I was expecting for The Grim Goodbye to be played but since they are in the Philippines, they prioritized the songs which gained popularity. I really wanted Grim Goodbye and hopefully when they come back here, they can do a one-time full length concert with Grim Goodbye on it!

Over-all....

After all those months of obsessing over Grim Goodbye and the rest of RJA's songs, I finally get to experience the band themselves! Hopefully, I am really praying that when they come back here they can play Grim Goodbye so I can hear that beautiful scream of Ronnie: "I feel something deep inside me...i feel deep insiiiiiidddeeee!!!!!"

I am satisfied. SO.MUCH. It has been years ever since I felt freedom since I'm the most 100 percent happy and free when I attend a gig.

and I'm proud to say:

I'm not just a fan of THE REDJUMPSUIT APPARATUS...I'm also a huge fangirl of Ronnie Winter's SCREAMS!!!!

Take care guys! See you when you come back!

p.s.: Please play Grim Goodbye!

jevay \m/

extra-joss girl

2008-11-14T13:26:00.005+08:00

whoa..this blog has earned lots of cobwebs when i haven't updated a single thing.

i have a new job...sheesh, how unstable my career can get? this 'current' work oblige me to drink excessive amount of caffeine to be able to keep awake, but nothing is much heavier than a thesis!

i'm keeping up with the hype and this includes....TWILIGHT!!!!!

i'm really itching to watch and i can't stand the wait any longer!

i think, this is an ample amount of an update...

oh btw, i love Arctic Monkeys then, currently digging the White Stripes, and liking Rob Pattinson as an actor!

sheesh

jevs \m/

The RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS

2008-03-21T06:44:00.004+08:00

I'm pissed.

usually, good friday is a pumped up day for me to prepare my worn up slippers and body bag to go for a long walk with millions of other pinoys who visit my town Antipolo for the pilgrimage. However, this particular friday starts out not really good. First of all, I'm off to work. Second, I super dooper late. Third, the reason is, I have no means of transportation because all forms of vehicle are pretty congested with 'devotees.' Some full with faith, some have the idea of doing this in replace of their roadtrip or moshpit (what?).

How in the world did RJA entered as a title for my rantings toward the industry where I am in (f*cking call centers!)?

Red Jumpsuit is one of the reason why I'm still sane this Holy Week and this summer.

I always see their album 'Don't Fake It' on Odyssey's cd rack and its in the 'hot stuff' section. I was close to buying it but I haven't heard a single music from them because I'm not able to listen to the radio these paaaaaaassssst months. So, I decided to test-drive their music.

Yeah, yeah...music journalists might say that "Your Guardian Angel" is such a sell-out song because of mushiness and its 'poppy' lyrics. So fucking what? I'm sappy. But that's not the reason why I cried the moment i heard the song. The band has an awesome sincerity towards their music, whether its that acoustic love song or that fire-starter 'In Fate's Hands' which refers to every kid who's waiting for their chance.

After test driving it and listening to it non stop for the past two weeks, I'm ready to buy the album. They tackle serious topics such as domestic violence in a comfortable manner but definitely hit the right spot to contemplate.

I feel much better now...i'm listening to them while i'm making this. this entry is not much of a something but if ever you decide to pick out RJA from the 'hot stuff' section, the tracks "In Fate's Hands", "Face Down", "Waiting", "Justify", "False Pretense" (music-wise this song has a First of Summer vibe into it, but the plot is serious), and "Atrophy" are great. It needs to be played over and over again to be able to appreciate it and if you did, you're hooked.

I'm to take a shot in taking a PUV going to work again. Ciao!

oh by the way, Ronnie Winter (RJA's vocalist) is married. Hee...he's hot and he's married.

jevay \m/

...

2007-07-14T23:37:00.001+08:00

i only have the privilege to stare
coz no one dare touches
this wall shines further
trying it with our fingertips
i was able to control myself
this line
you tell to put
you try to break
it wouldn't fair
prolong teasing
assumed feelings
its all in the air

that's why
i only have the privilege to stare
i won't dare to touch
you won't be able to...

- jevay \m/

i succumbed...

2007-05-26T21:55:00.001+08:00

finally, i did it...

did fell into the pit of the so-called trend.

sigh...i will surely disappoint some people but...i'm already here...

anyways, let's just see what happens...

on the lighter note, i was infatuated for four days...

hayyy...it's been a long time since i felt that...

jevay \m/

Astinos is HOT!

2007-05-12T21:37:00.001+08:00

Well...i finally got my satisfaction of seeing the beach! We went to La Luz in Batangas and I divided most of my time snorkeling or reflecting... cause i need to map out my life.

Did i...mapped my life out while i was there?

not entirely...i was enjoying my silence underwater and sitting in front of the beach under the night sky with my mp3 playing some music...

anyways, okasa lent me some of her dvds and i finally got to watch the film 300, just to see what's the fuss about it...

god...it was awesome! and it is so true, their bodies are uniformly 8 packs! Astinos is hot but his head was sliced off by one of the Persians. I didn't know Xerxes was androgynous! Great movie! Thank god for technology! The landscapes and the effects wouldn't be that so great without it!

I admire Frank Miller the most, since he was the one who created the graphic novel. I loved how he wrote the narratives of the novel. However, the conversation was the typical 'fight for glory!' or 'die for your country!' thing for this kind of movie.

will this batch of newly graduates be just a bunch of frustrated career people??? Its scary and sad at the same time to think that my generation is in the corporate world just for the sake of entering it but, what they really want to do is to excel in somewhere else!

hay...this world is so fucking unfair! i'm still conquering my internal issues such as my own insecurities...and avoiding my very best to hurt other people's feelings...

i hate being the bitch, but can't you help it if you're one?

jevay \m/

unemployment state...

2007-04-28T21:40:00.001+08:00

this is getting way way insane!... and depressing too!

shit! i just graduated last March 24th (whoa, how many times did I say this during my job interviews???) and I still couldn't find a fucking job related to my course!

FYI, I've been intentionally getting myself included to the numerous population of underemployed people by applying for posts that involves media! (tehee, stupid of me to realize that i wanted to take film!)

Anyway, here i am after a week long of Embassy hopping! We snagged an employment exam for the Canadian Embassy and...i don't want to talk about it.

its so sad...I'm getting depress... lots of people advice us not to be in a hurry when it comes to applying for our first job...first jobs are crucial for it will determine your career path...

How long must i wait? - That's what Henry Allen said in their song 'Dweller' - I want to earn my own money, so that i could take my mom for a shopping and treat my dad on a fine-dine restaurant when goes home...

Kame-sama...please...please...help find the job that will make me successful and my parents hella proud! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONEGAI KAME-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate being a slacker...

DEMO

just until the second week of may, I'll slack around a bit and after that...

back to the fucking-job-hunt!

Gambarre to me!

Thesis Acknowledgment

2007-03-15T21:40:00.000+08:00

I would like to extend my gratitude to the following who and which made it possible for me to survive the thesis period with 'flying colors' (wahoo!!!):

To UP Sunken Garden: which served as a witness for the very first struggle of forming and dividing our thesis group in the middle of eating isaw and dirty ice-cream.

To Ms. Lorna Israel: Our dear thesis coordinator who continuously challenged us from day one until the very day of our defense. With your sharp and constructive criticisms, we wouldn't be able to shape our own thesis topics. Salamat po! Take care of your health and be careful of the full moon! haha!

To Mr. Bong 'papa bear' Joves: Wow...the biggest and most huggable gratitude for you! These words are pretty much so used up but nonetheless no matter how cliché it is, I'll say this once again with so much fervor and passion: THANK YOU!!! You've been a wonderful revelation to me (personally) and we're so glad to have you as our thesis adviser! Thank you so much for going the extra mile just to take care of your 6 'alagas.' Hope we made you proud! Brother, father, professor, friend, adviser and co-singer (aha!). Good times! Sa uulitin!

To ISIP Block sec.2: For providing one hell of a ride this year! It's an overwhelming fact that despite of the misunderstandings and conflicts that went on, these resulted into very important lessons and apparently, things were solved! Kanpai to all the students of this block for the continuous effort of struggling every excruciating second of our senior days so that all of us can graduate!!! Kanpai! Kanpai! Each and everyone deserve a tall glass of Mat-Mat's sex on the beach! hehe!

To ISIP sec.1 and ISD: For giving each and everyone the words that were needed especially during the 'defense' hype! GOOD LUCK and CONGRATULATIONS have never sounded so uplifting. The IS spirit was greatly felt!

To IS Professors: For the extra wisdom and guidance that you've given us. Thank you!

To the 1/4 of the ARMY >>> Chel and Steph: For being the emotional solace of the remaining Army. You were so patient enough to listen to all our rants, frustrations, happiness, childishness, etc. This rollercoaster of emotions were needed to be released and you gladly lent us your ears! Haha! Love our random strolls around UP!

To Sunrise Hills Condominium: which served as our headquarters! Hats off to the guards for letting us enter the building unquestioned and treating us (Twinkle and I) like regular occupants! Your facilities are the best! From the balcony (the perfect place for 'tambays' and good conversations) to the cozy studio-type rooms!

To Kuya Wesley: For being the ever quiet and patient brother! Thank you for letting us ransacked the dorm whenever we have our 'sleep-ins.' Sorry for all the inconveniences and thank you for understanding our grumbling stomachs which resulted into attacking the refrigerator! Gomen!

To Starbucks: For providing the best frappucinos with shots of mint and espresso! Espresso keeps me awake! That's what I've realized...

To Seattle's Katipunan: To its coffee and to its people, who were so kind to let us stay until 6 o' clock in the morning outside. Your establishment has been very effective and productive for our thesis work!

To Nescafe and Extra Joss: our last resort to keep our mind stable! Caffeine doesn't really work when one's mind refuse to stabilize itself anymore! Everyone's palpitating when they drink Extra Joss; it has an opposite effect on us though! Let me reiterate: any energy booster stuff doesn't work when one's mind refuse to stabilize itself! Sleep! The only answer is Sleep!

To Marlboro Lights and Dunhill Frost: Thank you for stimulating great substantial conversations and for providing stress-free and blank ragged brains. You're toxic but as much as thesis was concern, toxics can be handled very well. Hee!

To Urbandub, Faspitch, Typecast and Paramore: For keeping me sane amidst the stress-infested thesis days and for keeping my mind at peace through the loud music that you make! It’s in this kind of noise where my true solace can be found! Bow down with arms raised tonight! \m/

To Henry Allen and Arashi: For being the subjects of my fanatical daydreams whenever I felt the need to escape reality! In the middle of our scholarly writing, you kept my creative juices flowing. Be it in terms of eroticism or just plain damn stupidity.

To Our Family: For the Lazaro-Mangulabnan family for being so attentive to our thesis needs. Thank you for the patience and making us be part of the crowd! To the Turqueza family, for being the ever understanding, for allowing Twinkle to have overnights for our thesis! To the Soqueña Family - my family - for treating me somehow as a mature 'lady' who can think of her own decisions and letting me be responsible for the actions that I've chosen. Your guidance and your love are deeply cherished and will always be needed. I love you mama and papa! I Hope Nene made you proud! :)

To my wonderful thesis mates!

Shasta: For letting me discover the wonders of cigarettes! The conversations that were derived from our 'yosi sessions' are memorable, especially in the course of working for our thesis! I've always looked up to you as the leader of this group who always organized our thoughts and actions before we attack on a specific task! I'm sorry for any misunderstandings that have occurred and for causing you headaches! hehe! Thank you for maneuvering the group as an organized mafia! Haha!

Twinkle: For being the comic relief of this group! You've been the one who consistently took thesis lightly and this was a great balance for our workaholic Shasta! I salute you for juggling your work as a Barrista and our thesis but still managing to survive! I'm sorry if I tend to nag you about something. Thank you for bringing in the fun into our bunch!

Thank you for keeping up with my impatience, temper, and insanity! I would like to apologize for any inconveniences that I've caused our group and thesis. I'm just so glad that we finally made it through together. We're still intact with lots of lessons learned during the one whole year we were consistently seeing each other's faces! Having solved our differences, the two of you made this thesis period, like play and work at the same time! As graduation arrives, I wish the three of us, the Army, and all the IS peeps the greatest life that's waiting for us to be achieved. We have so much to prove to this world!

Gambarre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arigato Gozaimasu minna!!!!!!!!

Jevay \m/

the moon is absent...but i know its full...

2007-03-08T23:52:00.001+08:00

FANGIRL MODE!!!!!!!!!!

i hate to start it with a 'guess what?' but since i'm kind of a nutcase right now...

Guess What?!?!

Letters from Iwo Jima!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There.

ha! loved it!

The cast was undeniably awesome! and superb!

yay!

the main reason why i wanted to watch was because of Kazunari Ninomiya! but then again, he became a big excuse to love this movie!

japanese war perspective in films have been non-existent in hollywood and another reason - which is more logical - why i want to watch this is because i became intrigue in how the jap perspective could be portrayed in the context of WWII. Mainly, when i was younger, i hated the japanese because of their image shaped by history books and american war films, and when Clint Eastwood made this movie, I badly wanted to know the other side.

Not much difference though, since they're humans also trapped with the atrocious situation of war.

Ken Watanabe, as usual, did one hell of a job with the role but i do firmly believe that Nino's Saigo is the center of this story.

gods, even the other japanese actors were sooooooo good!

Shimizu and Nishi receive my love as well!

Oh Nino! ninoninoninoninoninonino! Nino-kun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, this is definitely fangirling!

Saigo is definitely Nino! The sarcasm, his wit and the comic relief was so him!

This film was only shown exclusively on Glorietta 4 and Greenbelt, and the moment I heard of it, I've been itching to find a way to watch this movie. Gladly, I give my sincerest gratitude to Okasa! Kampai! that's for watching the movie with me and for equally enjoying the movie as well. Since we're international studies students, we can really relate to this and I'm proud to say that I'm a HISTORY FREAK!!!

Nino's tears = LOVE.

*squeal!* *squeal!*

The last scene with Ken Watanabe when the general shot himself...that was priceless... the moment the gun was fired, his tears fell with perfect timing! That was so beautiful! No wonder the director loved working with him. His scene with his wife was equally touching and to Okasa, the part where Nino cried for Shimizu's death was...great! >>> i'm running out of adjectives here!

We were debating or rather, we were kind of determining/spotting, the parts in the film where we think Clint's bias as an American would portray...however, at the end, we though that Letters is definitely solely leans with the Japanese. It was somehow balance and I don't mind when other says that portraying the Japanese soldiers as humane was exaggerated. I mean, in this film, the soldiers were mostly forced to go to war (Saigo for example, is a baker), they're not that cruel compared to the Kempeitais!

the general plot was typical for a war movie, but the conversations were beautiful! draggy, but not as 'ho-hum' as FoF!

it felt so heavy, i didn't realize that I was completely talking to myself during the film giving comments here and there while okasa was secretly laughing at me!

i'm glad the movie was born to be released in hollywood. according to what i've read, not so many people in japan knew about the battle in iwo jima. It's a shame that during the battle, the jap gov't cannot give reinforcements but its because, this was the time that japan was losing to america. they were defeated in saipan and in marianas (i didn't know they fought there! wonder what happened there...) if reinforcements were given and if the battle was won by the japanese, the atomic bombings in hiroshima amd nagasaki might not have occurred. It was an amazing thing to learn that the island was a strategic location to target the mainland...and yet, no reinforcements were given.

*sigh* Clint Eastwood make gory movies...hehe...he's very visual, and detailed...especially with the 'guts' showing and...

it gives a clearer justification for the harakiri (?!) method of japanese...they think of americans as cowards because they wanted to be killed by others by fighting till the end...for the japs, its more courageous to kill oneself than let others defeat you...but since i'm plagued with western thoughts, i prefer fighting till the end and die in the hands of the enemy. Borrowing Saigo's words "There's no use of a dead soldier..."

we strongly believe, The two films that Eastwood made portrays his standpoint regarding with the war on iraq...he might have denied this on some interviews but, for us, it really shows...

oh nino...you did one hell of a great job with Saigo! Kampai to you!

I'm.so.much.fulfilled.

wahoo!!!

p.s. i was absolutely sure that there will be Arashi fans who will watch this movie today! i was right! during the ending credits, i was like "ninonino" and one girl heard me, then she said to her friend, (her voice was in perfect pitch so that i can hear her)

"I think I'm loving nino more!!! I love him more than Jun!!!! Arashi.... *she spoke of uncomprehendable (if there is such a word!) nihonggo*"

I just secretly smiled and sighed...

gods...lots of jun-bait here in the philippines...ne?

hehe!

wahoo!!!!!!!!

jevay \m/

I'm a bum

2007-03-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

here i am slacking off after our thesis defense...

blogging, eating ice-cream, watch Princess Hours dvd (shin goon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! waaaa!!!), eating salad, writer's block...

*sigh* I'm stuck with my fic...*cough* I'm actually stuck with the *cough* smut part, so I can't proceed writing while i'm like this...

sheesh...I thought the princess hours bug won't get me...but it eventually did! why??? at first i don't think joo ji hoon is hot but... i think he is...his chemistry with yoon eun hye was REALLY hot! also noteworthy was their kissing scene. I always complain why k/jdramas are still kind of conservative when it come to kissing scenes BUT after watching caijing's and shin's kiss...waaaaaa!!! they really french kissed! at first when I watched it, i was like, "shin's blocking it with his teeth..." but after seeing a slow, close-up scene in youtube...whoah....it was really the hottest kissing scene in korean drama!

god...this must stop! that's why i couldn't make any progress with my arashi fic its because of the Goong hook...

anyways, two weeks before graduation...two weeks...and my fear is slowly penetrating me...i can't help thinking about serious stuff, i have to be serious about my life from now on...let me marry a prince instead! (eeww...puke...)

i need to map out my life...or let the rivers flow...

ciao! saranghe shin goon!

aww shaddup!

jevay \m/

2007-02-08T15:45:00.001+08:00

Wohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its gone! the cyst is gone! i undergone a minor operation for my right eye and voila!!!!!!!!!!!

its gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

right now, i have bandage on the right side of my face for the wound to heal and i look authentically the girl version of captain hook! haha! don't ask! its an old thing!

so that's the major news and to add for more randomness, i took a pre-employment exam in IBM and I passed! it was excruciating and full of mathematics and i fucking passed! although i passed for a non-IT position because obviously I suck at math. They'll contact me for the next step then after that, let's see...

i'm listening to typecast and currently 'test driving' their album to see if its good. Its good but haven't caught my heart yet for me to buy a copy. I've got four tracks that got my interest:

* Will you ever learn (loooooooove this song!)
* Bad News Brown
*In Blindness
*Emmanuel

Seems like the album is kind of spritual besides from being romantically emotional.

haaayyyyyyyyyyy..... that big insecurity blanket is hovering on me once again, i once thought that this society will crush me but i was wrong, it is my self...
that blurry reflection will be the cause of my destruction if i won't stand up against me...

emoemoemoemoemoemomode

jevay \m/

thefutureofearrepair

2007-01-18T13:36:00.001+08:00

finally got faspitch! yay!

i should say i was impressed by the album and the whole band definitely plays as one unit!
they're hella good! from the drummer to the bassist, from the two guitarists to the vocalist!

whoawhoa!

i love henry allen's vocal style in each track! especially with Make Love (gotta love the first two stanzas where he was screaming!) and No Holding Back (in my opinion, this is their highly experimental song! love the paradoxes within it! don't ask me, i can't quite explain it properly!)

the one that really caught me off guard the first time that i heard the track was Dweller! Lyrics-wise, it won my heart! i can't help but put on a mischievous smile while

I've got a hard-on for the microphone, iv'e got a hard-on for her, but no she won't blow!

was being sung by Henry. god, that was awesome!

and for the rest of the tracks like Alone, i was having some impure thoughts on it too...although these thoughts are merely derived from my own perverted mind...but nonetheless, if Henry could explain what's the meaning behind

i've been waiting all this time to see you please...i can't wait for my eyes to lie, my river flows...walking up to your table i spy,a sight for sore eyes...people keep in mind the sight of your eyes all aglow...i know its hard, foolish pride!

then i'll just shut up... (unless if we have the same meaning...)

i like the back-up vocals! i'm a sucker for second-voices and blendings and whatever you may call it...

and russ (the lead guitars) did a good job too! he can scream and he's equally great!

i've read some reviews in some blogs and some people were actually commenting that Henry's hot (obviously, this is not a real album review! hehe).

he is hot?

Ahem... i guess i have to agree.

i like his goatee though!

although his looks is just a bonus because Faspitch is really one hell of a band (BTW, I first spotted them when they became Rising Star of MTV and they cracked me up during their tv commercial).

it just so happen that Henry's voice and his looks matched.

disregard the physical aspect, i don't really care. Really.

my ears are more of my stimulator than my eyes, anyway.

his voice is enough for stimulation.

his 'manic' yelling

BREATHE! BREATHE! BREATHE! COME ON AND BREATHE!

and the way he said the 'the' in Dweller: maybe we see THE hooole...

i thought the way he whispered it was hella sexy...

he was moaning in some songs too...hahaha! oh god, i won't even discuss it. my mind is speeding up once again.

yeah, Faspitch, Future of Ear Repair, great! awesome!

jevay \m/

doctor...

2007-01-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

i went to an opthalmologist a while ago to get my eye checked...

yep, my suspicion is correct...

she checked my vision and she checked that small lump in my right eye...huhuhuhuhu...

then, she poke it!

SHE FUCKING POKE IT!

with my consent of course! i badly want to get this thing off my eye, that i will let the doctor do anything! anything!

i whimpered and whimpered and whimpered some more when she was poking it...

but the brave girl I was, i came to tolerate the pain.

sheesh...i have two weeks...two weeks before i could undergo a minor operation...

however minor it is, it is still an operation! oh god...no...

but hell, i just want this out! who knows what other complications it will lead to!

oh god no...

after the poking and prescriptions, i was on my way home feeling a little overwhelmed by the pain i went through...haha!

i was a little...let's say...spaced out?

hayy...i'm still scared...

oh god no...

jevay \m/

Letters of Iwo Jima!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-16T13:57:00.001+08:00

whohooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Letters won the Golden Globes for Best Foreign Language Film!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really proud of Clint Eastwood, Ken Watanabe and of course *ahem* my ichiban, Kazunari Ninomiya!!!!!!!!!

Clint Eastwood didn't mentioned Nino though in his speech, but what the heck! Nino's still a proud actor for being part of that one hell of a movie!!!!!!!!

I'm going to watch that fucking movie!

the sucky part is, Letters will be shown in the Philippines by... April, i think?

April??!? That fucking sucks!

but, i'm going to wait Nino-kun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fight-o!!!!!!

jevay \m/

2007-01-15T15:06:00.000+08:00

there is something in my eye that i'm beginning to fear... i don't know what's this but it got my mom to be equally worried... chances are, i might undergo an operation...oh god... no...

i'm really scared and i hate hospitals and needles! my tolerance for pain is strong and but imagining it makes me feel like chicken shit...

oh god...i hope this is not something serious...i might have to go to the doctor for check-up, then (god forbid) if ever i'll be up for operation, it might take place maybe before the job fair...

oh god...no...

jevay \m/

...giddy...

2006-12-31T14:10:00.001+08:00

i just had my mouth hanging open the moment i heard this:

i've got a hard-on for the microphone
i've got a hard-on for her
but no! she won't blow!!!!!!!!

god! i just thought that blew me away! especially when Henry Allen was screaming the last line...

that's Faspitch for ya... have to buy that album when school starts...

i think his breathy voice, those moans, and that sort-of maniacal screams are complete turn-ons...

jevay \m/

....

2006-12-27T18:50:00.000+08:00

i feel sad...

and maybe i need to and i must loosen my grip onto something to avoid further chaos...

it might seem a little thing but this little issue means a lot to me...

that's what i get for forcing myself into doing things...

i know sometimes its a necessity

but i can't control my emotions

and therefore i tend to do things that i instantly regret...

yeah, i think i should loosen up a bit and don't give much damn about 'close packs'

i'm kinda getting tired and i need to practice to stand and rely on myself...

i'm sorry...i'll change it...

2006-12-22T20:24:00.001+08:00

my neighbor across the street seems like having a grand christmas party playing 'My Humps' while having a game of stop dance.

i prefer being stuck in the house and we just received the comments for our Chapter 3 from our thesis coordinator...

pretty disheartening.

it was a good thing i'm watching the Desperate Housewives dvd and I'm absolutely loving it. I like the way they used a dead character as the narrator!

i'm killing my time updating my fics, being a bum, slacking infront of the t.v. and just waiting for christmas. you know what? ever since my dad went out of the country, holidays aren't so much fun like they used to be. My mom has another form for fun meaning go to sleep, just watch and listen to firecrackers, etc. Its kind of frustrating and my dad was usually the one who's very genki about holidays and I really miss that.

come home...

good news? we're going to work on our thesis on the 26th. Great! we'll be having chel too so its one heck of a late christmas celebration! after working, we're going to smoke, have a conversation and hang out at seattle's. That's our kind of fun!

this life is turning...i don't know...i'm getting fat, i'm starting to get this little flap below my chin because my cheeks are chubby! god...now, i'm complaining about my body parts! i really have to exercise after graduation...

i guess...not so many people find me deep...i, myself, thought of that.

chel told me that i have charisma to those people who are close to me. they have to get to know me first before they find that i'm not this little snotty, aloof, introverted girl...well, almost.

jevay \m/

low down...

2006-11-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

i'm saddened by the fact that Saul Ulanday has left Rampqueen...

Yosef, RQ's guitarist and genius mixer, posted the news about the band and due to their conflicting schedules...it happened.

Saul is really my favorite when it comes to the voice department and it will be such a waste if i won't be able to hear him sing!

BUT...Rampqueen is still alive, don't worry... i'm anxious to know who will be their vocalist and for sure, there will also be some major changes with their music.

hayy...i'm having writer's block and because of my excitement to immediately post an update of my fic, i have disregarded the quality of my style... so, i'll update slowly when my mood strikes in.

love this song called 3 Libras from APC. Just snagged the song from okasa's laptop and i really liked it a lot!

loved the way he sang 'you don't see me!'... lots of emotions ne?

His voice reminded me of Saul's... oh shucks... hope Saul will come back to the music scene when time permits him...

wish RQ and Saul all the luck!

Ganbatte guys!

OH! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh!

I was suppose to watch the movie Flag of Our Fathers tomorrow and I was planning ot watch it alone just for the heck of it but....BUT, i was fucking lucky that when I came to look at the movies showing at Robinson's, FooF was gone!

ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

I should hurry my ass when Letters from Iwo Jima is release!

I should really hurry!

arrrgggggggggghhhhhh! fucking distressed......

jevay \m/

chipped black nails

2006-11-20T13:08:00.000+08:00

i never like painting my fingernails black... i used to do that when i was in highschool... but right now, I did it. I have my reasons though, I was going to have my graduation picture taken and for my creative shot, I felt the need to paint my nails black.

Concept? Originally, I've always wanted to be a black angel and at the same time 'the vocalist' or in more mainstream terms, a rockstar angel. However, as i was getting my make-up done, the black wings was not available... only the white wings for the white angel.

Did that stopped me? Nope.

Since I love paradoxes, I've decided to go on to my goth make-up, black as my main color (black shirt, black nails, black accessories) and put the white wings on. My naturally curly hair was done wilder than anyone else.

When one of my friends was taking a photo of me, I heard someone said: "Scary...."

I grinned inside.

It was supposed to be scary.

After I striked a pose for my creative shot (Props: micstand, mic, black feathers... hehehe) and after I saw my shots... I realized that the contrast (black outfit and gothic make-up plus white wings) was more gothic than having black wings and be a black angel...

therefore i called my creative shot as "The Angel Traitor"

that's it.

i have to go

jevay \m/

Devour me whole - Faspitch is love

2006-11-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

just downloaded the song 'A Day Before Pisces' because i can't take the last song syndrome that has been going around in my head for at least 2 weeks now.

I LOVE IT~!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to buy Faspitch's album when I have the money! and after I graduated, I'll watch their gigs!

they're awesome!!!

now, i have to go back to my fiction...

i'm waiting for the pen to come up here again to devour me whole...

sugoii!!!

jevay \m/

A 30 minute product

2006-10-23T23:26:00.001+08:00

Who would fool me with those words?
They sting so badly and yet, I crave for it
It is the end of rationality…
No logic can make me say that I regret all of it
I may have ruined everything
But losing everything made me feel worth it
It was sin
Tongues of fire
…and yet it taste so sweet
I have never comprehended words
I’m not really good at analyzing what you say
I can only feel the vibrations of your scream
It transcend to me…
Drowning in your wrath, passion and despair
I am your only comfort
I am.
The one you despise.

Lust –
In its mature form
I felt it whole
You used it to destroy me
I was
I am
…destroyed
But the pieces made me whole

Who would fool me with those words?
You inflict me damage just to bring back what I’ve lost you
I somehow complied
Lust, passion, despair
I took it all

Who knows you’re a failure in being superficial?
No matter how you make things worse for me
I am
I am yours
I am
…your solace

Take it…

Don’t you ever push me away.

I’ve already had enough.

Jevay \m/

of Ao No Honoo, marlboro menthol and vampires...

2006-10-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

hell...

it's sembreak already and i'm just so loving the feeling of being trap inside the house. It felt a long time since i last slacked around doing nothing.

so, i'm suppose to savor every bit of it! Yay!

I watched the Part 1 of this japanese movie called The Blue Light in Youtube and I liked it. Not just because of the actor but the whole plot that you don't usually see in the mainstream film industry of the Philippines was good. If i'm going to pursue this dream of going to film school and be a director, i would like to make movies in Japan. I love how twisted their stories are and i love the fact that they seem to not have an overly strict censorship media board! I'm quite curious why I haven't heard a lot of fuss regarding japanese films in the television, for example in independent film festivals. Or maybe i wasn't able to catch up with the fuss since I started to love japanese films just recently. I would love to make japanese films. Yeah, i noticed that they seem to be a little perverted but hey, at least it portrays honesty in their films that they don't censor it and its considered mainstream unlike here, where most teen idols are protrayed as goody-goody and can't even say one curse!

My point is, a movie is suppose to depict reality so I kind of wish that I hear jennylyn mercado or any teen stars to say a curse in their sickly sweet love stories.

haay...

Kazunari ninomiya rocks!

anyways, i caught Interview with the Vampire last Sunday and like my dear baby Chel, i'm quite fascinated with vampires too. Brad Pitt was hot in that movie, Tom Cruise? nah. My favorite Lestat vampire would have to be the guy in Queen of the Damned named Stuart Townsend. I think Stuart did Lestat really well since he is a rockstar in the movie too. The Tom Cruise Lestat only suits his 18th century character but if he is going to play the rockstar Lestat, he'll be bad.

the movie was good and its been a long time since i have watched a vampire flick. I love how vampires romanticize everything. I think everything is romanticize when it comes to vampires. The way they kill their victims, drinking blood from their maker, searching for a companion, etc.

i've watched several movies the moment the semester officially closed. Finally watched Brokeback mountain (sorry, i kind of did not appreciate the whole movie... i just wanted to see the tent scene though...hehe), Memoirs of Geisha (which i thought is good since i love period/historical movies), Crash (nice...all forms of racism), My Girl (Hahahaha!!! I never thought I would like it! but i did! I watched it for three days straight! 1 hour per episode mind you!) and lots of Arashi television shows!

whenever i go to internet cafes I would spend 3 hours just watching Arashi on Youtube while researching or downloading large thesis files that my PC cannot handle. The more I watch them, the more i love them!

Ganbatte Arashi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

plans: watch Ninomiya's movie: Red Sun, Black Sand. which was directed by Clint Eastwood. It's a back to back movie together with Flags of our Fathers also directed by Mr. Eastwood. Both movies are about the battle in Iwo Jima in Japan, Flags is the American point of view which was derived from the novel and Red Sun talks about the Japanese point of view.

Cool huh? Have to watch both movies, I want my papa everytime there is a war movie coming out. He loves watching these kind of movies. I will definitely watch this since its rare to have the Japanese point of view to be released in a movie for the whole world.

i have to out!

Mazikare banana!

p.s. stress release is all about smoke... haay... i think that's the effect of thesis, your body learns to tolerate hazardous chemicals such as nicotine...

jevay \m/

song games...try it on...

2006-09-01T19:26:00.000+08:00

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too.

How are you feeling today?
With a Smile - Eraserheads

Will you get far in life?
Baby its You- Jojo feat. Lil Bow Wow

How do your friends see you?
Leave Get Out - Jojo (hahaha!)

Will you get married?
Heart- Shaped Box - Nirvana

What is your best friend's theme song?
Pagsubok - Kitchie Nadal

What is the story of your life?
Torpedo - Eraserheads

What was high school like?
Autobiography - Ashlee Simpson

How can you get ahead in life?T
urn - Mojofly

What is the best thing about your friends?
K-Fyne - Junior Kilat

What is today going to be like?
Like Humans Do (Radio Edit) - David Byrne

What is in store for this weekend?
Heaven Knows - Carol Banawa (hehehe...)

What song describes you?
For all of my life - MYMP

To describe your grandparents?
Standing at the edge of the earth - Blessed union of souls

How is your life going?
Hehehe - Yoj Ferrer

What song will they play at your funeral?
Rape Me - Nirvana (wow...haha!)

How does the world see you?
Doll's Head - The Late Isabel

Will you have a happy life?
Kissing and Bleeding - The Moffatts (weeeehhhhhhhh....)

What do your friends really think of you?
All Apologies - Nirvana

Do people secretly lust after you?
Sugod - Sandwich (pwede...naghihintay...ahaha!)

How can I make myself happy?
Stuck in America - Sugar Cult

What should you do with your life?
Leaving You (Acoustic) - Session Road

Will you ever have children?
He Wasn't - Avril Lavigne (as in...he wasn't potent?...)

pass it on!

jevay \m/

oh shit...

2006-08-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

its 10:02 pm on my pc clock and i'm in the middle of formulating a schematic diagram for our framework...neat.

i have trouble concentrating inside my house.

and its really hard to find a framework.

right now, I'm 'trying' to form a diagram...shucks...

lessig, will you help us? thesis is the bomb! it can blow your head off literally. Every consultation, every brainstorming is draining every inch of intelligence you have (esp. if you have the famous Lorna Israel as your thesis coordinator!).

We just confirmed our supervisor for our holy thesis and as of now, identity is confidential! hehehe... bonding? we just did that, i just have to loosen up more often to be more comfortable around our T.A. and counting all I.S profs, our T.A is whom i'm most comfortable with so far.

anyways, i have to go back reading... too bad i won't be able to watch the Planet of the Apes on t.v., i came to realize that its a nice movie.

Monkeys are cruel! ha!

Humans, think before you harm a pet!

jevay \m/

frustrated...

2006-08-18T20:54:00.000+08:00

just when you thought you found your direction in life...

you realize...it is not fucking feasible!

that is so frustrating, really.

Just when I thought I wanted to make movies, documentaries and videos...in short: director, enrolling myself in a one year immersion film school would be highly impossible.

WHY?

I got one word for you:

MONEY.

You know how much it will cost me to enroll at the The International Academy of Film and Television in Cebu?

265,000 Pesos for the whole year!

That.fucking.sucks!

Why would I want to be a film director when I am studying International Politics right now? Does it have any relations?

YES!

Combining media and int'l politics is what I'm targeting to do. Media today is the most powerful tool of influence in the world and whatever media we have, it is shit.

Most of them are there for profit. Most of them misled the audience...

I want to make films such as Hotel Rwanda

I want to make documentaries such as those from I-witness

I want to make music videos like what Marie Jamora did for Urbandub...

But I'm getting frustrated...

How the hell am I going to earn 265,000 pesos?! It would take me 3-5 yrs before i could enroll myself! I want to start young! and I don't wan't to take the Short-term workshops because I want to learn every bit of it!

This is absolutely frustrating...

I need money... anyone would want to give me financial grant?

I may not know the fundamentals of film making.

I may not have a single knowledge regarding the equipments

All i have is passion and my dream to propagate substantial messages through my works...

when will that be Enough?

sorry...my idealistic side is surfacing...

jevay \m/

Shimuken...

2006-08-15T19:38:00.000+08:00

shimuken's gone...

she's dead...

and I buried her myself...

I can't take it for now...

I never buried my own pet...

it hurts...

every pet means so much to me...

good bye shimuken... you might have been a cute cat...

i apologize for being irresponsible...

shit...

i don't want to cry again...

jevay \m/

I'm in love...

2006-08-03T19:08:00.000+08:00

that's right!

I.LOVE.URBANDUB!!!

Their music and their lyrics are the most precious thing that I've ever listened to... check out

Frailty:

FRAILTY
(G. ALIPE)
This bottle is bringing me down
No comfort for me in this town
All the faith in these eyes
Lost the glow and just dies
I pray, redeem this heart
And be here now.

In this war
The tears in my eyes says it all
Put all of my faith in you now
When all of the world says
We wont make it through
We’ll battle the world.

I feel so alone
The situation’s desperate
Until I’ve found my life again I drown
So save me now
Breathe new life in me…

I greet the morning sky
The sun dries tears in my eyes
Awaken this sleeping heart of mine
And be here now…

Awaken this heart.

...those are the most beautiful words ever written plus with the music! and that's only one song from their album 'EMBRACE'... shit... this is really love...

the band has raw, burning passion towards their craft... their talent is so pure...

shit...i love them...

anyone out there would like to take me with them on Urbandub's gig?

let's run away together...

with arms raised tonight!!!

jevay \m/

of air guitar and Urbandub: a hella week

2006-07-23T09:47:00.000+08:00

the week has been a blast and at the same time a fucker...

yeah, I've been exercising a lot of that 'power of the mind' thing proposed by the granny of the ARMY namely Twinkle and I could really say it worked! I just envisioned that I'll be performing for the whole student body and voila! I sang together with Mon for Baby Chel's campaign...

Fun huh? but it seems that whenever the 'power of the mind' works, it will ask for a return for its 'efforts'... it just so happened that the next day, I messed up my French recitation! Messed up, meaning, I made a complete fool out of myself!

Anyways, guess what? My mom caught me having an air guitar performance while I was playing my Urbandub "Embrace" album in the living room!!! That was so fucking embarassing! But I was so much enjoying doing air guitar, pretending that I'm with the band and playing Urbandub covers. I also would love to stop singing and take charge in the lead guitar (I have a deep belief that I can do that!). I wanted to play guitar infront of people, to prove that someone like me could really play. I think that's an effective way of earning people's and musicians' respect. I just laughed my ass off when my mom saw my air guitar performance and she was having this weird expression on her face and started mimicking me!

URBANDUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could this week get any better? I happened to snag a ticket for the Fortiori concert which was held in the highschool gym because Urbandub will play! They happened to be my most favorite PInoy band because they're so fucking awesome!

Can't describe it! The moment that they've announced Urbandub's name, I ran immediately in front to get a good view of them!

URBANDUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From the moment they stepped onstage, all of them are so good-looking! But still, I was present in that event not because I was infatuated by a good-looking musician. For the first time, I saw a band who is so musically talented! A great combination of people, great lyrics!, the passion of each band member!

It felt like the Spongecola gig, except that I was cursing the whole time because I was so happy to see them and was desperately trying hard not to spill some tears. And that's when I realized that I can inherit my mom's asthma! I was getting out of breath because of jumping so hard and singing enthusiastically at the same time!

Once again, I can't describe it! Each chord, each lyrics that they play...This is the first time I fell in love with the whole band! Personally, they're the most sincere band I have heard of (lyrics and music wise)! They inspire me! Gabby, when it comes to writing and John when it comes to guitar!

This entry might be badly written...well, maybe because I really can't describe what I feel when I saw Urbandub!

So for those who saw my Urbandub cd cover, please return it to me! It has a 'Jevay' written on the back and on the front. The lyrics meant a lot to me! I don't care if it wasn't signed, just give it back...

URBANDUB I LOVE YOU!

jevay \m/

Passionata

2006-07-03T10:35:00.000+08:00

The things I do with Passion

> Drink a cold pineapple juice with passion!

> Yawn with passion!

> Eat with passion!

> Sing with passion!

> Bathe the dogs with Passion!

> Watch a gig of my favortie band, jump up and down with passion!

> Laugh with passion!

> Ice-cream licking with passion!

> Sleep on public utility vehicles with passion!

> Savor the city lights, mountain view and the seashore with passion!

> Talking to the ARMY with passion!

still counting... my experiences so far are limited...

jevay \m/

ARASHI \m/

2006-06-19T19:29:00.001+08:00

I'm in love with these 5 japanese boys!

Well, first of all they cannot be considered as boys because their age ranged from 22-26 BUT

they don't look like adults!

I have been addicted into watching YouTube and they were so funny in some clips! They are so freaking cute!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aiba, Matsujun, Nino, Ohno and Sho are my favorites! All of them share different personalities that are quite lovable!

Gods........... they're cute!

freaking funny!

Mazikare Banana....

jevay \m/

insane...shaken...past...

2006-06-14T19:20:00.000+08:00

these past few days have been crazy so far...and my world was shaken for a moment because of a certain incident which occured in Baguio.

Why? Of all places why Baguio? It's not really fair for destiny or fate or anything for that matter to play on me like this.

I haven't felt that familiar thump in my chest for almost four years and there it was again, as I was innocently walking through the crowded grocery section of SM Baguio, I saw the face that I have already forgotten (or I thought I did).

He was the product of my first taste of 'first love' (eeek...), the difference was I never told him what I feel...

Wow...this entry is completely out of my character!

ANYways, I shed a tear or two after I saw him. He still has the same cute eyes, although lots of people (including my mom) told me that he is not cute as a whole.

For the whole time being, I was immediately locked back into memory lane.

With reeks of alcohol and hints of cigarette smoke, I indulged myself back into the past.

Maybe it happened so that I could feel my heart thumping again, it's been a long time since I felt that.

Reacting to that situation was totally over the edge. I feel like a complete girl!

However, as we went back home, the feeling started to fade...I was back to reality and as I repeat the image over and over again, the impact became less and less...

'You have your own lives right now...basically you just have to move on, just like what you have been doing for the past four years ...' My brain muttered inside...

Okay, moving on is what I'm doing...

I just find the incident funny because before I even saw him, I met one of his friends back when they were in high school... pure coincidental!

It was a complete overwhelming experience on my part...

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Click!

Yeah, back to Matsujun mode!

I still have those tactic charts to attend to and I know that they suck!

Thesis? Yeah, shitloads!

Love life? Zero...

Want to play in a band again! This time I'm playing! I insist!

jevay \m/

Rubix cube suck!

2006-05-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

wow... i dyed my hair black! all by myself!

wow...when i asked my cousins what changed did they noticed in my hair? they answered:

"lots of dead hair?"

"you cut your hair?!"

"its curly?!"

DUH.

wow...

of course! what change did it made? my hair is the darkest brown which is closest to black and what I did is to dye it blacker! Nah! I'll just buy another dye and it will be blue black!

my hands are dirty because its my dumbass of a mind to forget to put plastic inside my hand! My fingers looks like I've been fixing car engines all day!

we have so many work to do as usual! and I have not been myself for the past few days because I have to wear something more feminine and smart-casual rather than the ragged outfits i usually wear!

hayyy...........better make the most out of my fourth year!

ciao! thesis mode!

jevay \m/

Mayday!

2006-05-16T20:07:00.000+08:00

the best musician that I could possibly like would have to be a great lyricist and an awesome music maker.

a poet and a musician...

at the same time...

WOW...

There's Gabby Alipe of Urbandub, there's Saul Ulanday of Rampqueen and there's Yael Yuzon of Spongecola.

Then, there's Scott Moffatt (you have to hear him especially now! in my opinion he is exceptional!) >>> check out : www.myspace.com/scottmoffattmusic

I also think that the song Narda by Kamikazee is a poetic song...

nothing...just a share of thought...

because there are so many great bands/artists out there that makes great songs but the lyrics are not that poetic...

like Evan Taubenfeld's craft. He is an awesome musician and as far I've heard from his past works and his recent works in BLC, the songs are great but the lyrics are very in-your-face kind of thing. Nothing's wrong with that though its just that songs that have this poetic lyrics still has a deep impact on me even if its recited...

Requirement for bandmates:

- has an overwhelming passion and drive
- has lust and thirst for music
- does not have the hesitation to work with me being handicapped.
- sincere trust and ego booster not only for myself but for the whole band
- the chemistry, the magic
- who can match up with my uncontrollable energy during jamming sessions and can influence me with their uncontrollable
energy when I feel like giving up
- who can create our little world through our music
- who will form such friendship as strong as the music that we created.

see you guys soon!

p.s. make it sooner as in SOONER...

even if it will coincide with my fucking thesis, I will still pursue it with you!

mail me if you must be interested! if we clicked...then lets make songs and EP and an album!

all insecurities will vanish just come as soon as possible!

jevay \m/

2006-05-16T09:59:00.000+08:00

guess what?

my dad's reading my freaking blog!

waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shit.

deep shit.

well, it was stupid of me to put my blog link as a signature in my e-mail and papa clicked on it after he read one of my messages. Hmm... revelations huh? That his daughter swears a lot, she likes *hot* musicians, she swears a lot, and yeah, she swears a lot... Revelations indeed.

Sheesh...I kind of freaked out when he told me that he was reading my blog...

WTF?! But its okay, at least my dad has an idea how his daughter's mind works...haha.

Anyways, speaking of deep shit. I've been experiencing a LOT of self-pity and I hate it. Come on, who loves pity? Argh! I'm being coward again and it is a constant struggle between me and my inner self.

I've been playing "First of Summer" over and over again. I just want to run with a stranger! Someone I don't know. Someone who's willing to share a moment with me, free from the obligation of knowing your name and going through the process of accepting the whole self.

Blabbing... I don't feel good these past few days, full of insecurities and other stuff.

The weight of my decision is impossible to hold...

But then again, I'll be putting myself in more fucked-up situations if I don't pursue what I love to do.

What is that?

Go figure.

jevay \m/

summer...

2006-05-03T17:24:00.000+08:00

this year's summer has been busy and insane...

lots of stuff that i'm encountering and sometimes it scares the shit out of me but nonetheless it is loads of fun...

i've been experiencing a big deal of self-pity but its normal right? epsecially if you have been finally brave to do things that are way way out of your comfort zone...

i like...guys, music, musicians, guys, *shrug shoulders* whatev...

i'm getting a little bit bored AGAIN...and i'm still same coward...

Anything new?

jevay \m/

...rebirth...i hope so...

2006-04-16T20:24:00.000+08:00

it was one of the nights that i would never ever forget...

have you felt so vulnerable because you let your guard down?

you're so weak because you've open so much and all you can do is to cry your heart out?

well... i did... in front of a friend...

you might say that its natural to cry your heart out to a friend...

but you see, in my case, it is not...

i was never used to be the vulnerable one, usually friends used my blouse as a tissue paper

Damn that guy who passed by the Sunken garden!

this friend told me that he might be my angel...

this friend belt out words and sting me straight to my heart...

then, the next thing I know...

i shed a tear

i sobbed

then

i wailed

shit...

where was my shield when i need it?

i was feeling alright, eating the biggest cone of dirty ice cream that UP can offer, why did i suddenly spoke and cried my guts out?

maybe because i was so sick and tired of keeping it

maybe because this was the first time that someone listened to me

maybe because i have felt that this mature friend is actually mature to listen to me

maybe because this friend shot me with words and hit me straight on the chest...

it was a shame, crying like an unfed baby in view of the sunken garden...

but

it felt good.

i actually wished the whole army was there, maybe my chest will have so many holes because of the words that will further sting me...

but i don't care...i appreciated it... it felt good to have a confrontation with myself by a friend/friends used as a tool...

i was slapped

but my rebirth will approach...

i'm trying my very best my friend...

i salute you

i salute the whole army...

i think it was complete fate that the Isaw was not there that night and all we have is that dirty ice cream and the dude who was the reason for my wails...

salamat...

Dakilang Rebirth will be further accomplished...

slowly

slowly

jevay \m/

a week off...

2006-04-05T21:45:00.000+08:00

wow!!! my body is so tired... OJT at Amnesty International plus the Council of Leaders Team Building Seminar!!!!!!!

hayyy....i've never been busy in my entire life! I have to take a leave from my OJT for a couple of days for rest and for my upcoming 20TH BIRTHDAY!!!! Imagine i'm turning fucking 20 years! Gosh!!! I have lots of zits on my face and I want to dies because of it! (wow...if you happen to be an avid reader, i just said on past entries that I'm not the type of girl who would die because of zits! Well...it seems that they are suddenly popping out of nowhere!!!!!! AARRRRRGGHHH!!!! Damn stress!!!!)

Day offs are bliss...all i did the whole afternoon was to read slash fanfics between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy (fanfics are for hormonal teenagers and I'm over the boundaries actually! Well..that's the point! I dread growing up because I'm so immature!) anyways, I did enjoy the slash fics! these young authors can have very imaginative minds...making fanfiction is a good exercise for sharping grammatical and writing skills...

and...i played First of Summer by Urbandub and Sugod by Sandwich over and over and over again!

I really think KELLY CLARKSON is one hell of a singer! i love her! I'm a rocker that does not discriminate when it comes to music! and whenever i hear a Kelly Clarkson song, she just sing it straight from her heart and always hit me in the bull's eye... in short: she makes me cry! because she's so damn good!

haa...lets cut this crap...

jevay \m/

current... and last...

2006-03-30T20:46:00.000+08:00

current music: First of Summer - Urbandub

current mood: blank

current activity: blogging, searching for the bastard who hurt a friend of mine on Friendster,
singing with Urbandub

current food: salad and cake

current tv show: Extra Challenge! (cat fight between Katrina Halili and Jacqui Esteves)

last person you e-mailed: papa

last song you sang: First of Summer -Urbandub

last people you talked to: mama

last guy you think was hot: Kevin Zegers

last person you want to meet: God

jevay \m/

Writer's block...

2006-03-22T21:43:00.000+08:00

Writer's block...

is a total bitch!

I'm trying to write a song, the words are there but I couldn't find the decent chords to fit it. I figured out a nice single guitar intro and a bass line but the basic chords to make the song is being a bitch! I'll just have to grab whatever chords I can to construct the song and then I'll just make some tabs the after I buy that electric guitar. I'm still battling if it will in Tagalog or in English.

When i sang some messed up lyrics, a Tagalog chorus came out of nowhere and I thought it was kind of nice BUT I'm still stuck...I can't even move on... the heck...I think I could make songs easily with a band...as in with the whole band...i think its easy to contruct tabs when the bass line and everything comes together....sigh...

hope i can finish this.....

jevay \m/

First Of Summer - by Urbandub

2006-03-22T11:46:00.000+08:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ik-jRherPe4 <<<> to watch the live performance of this song!!!! then as the video play, look at the lyrics...well...now tell me...Filipino Music is aweome!!!! \m/

First of Summer - Urbandub

Parked car
This night sky
Makes city lights shine like diamonds
our song plays on the radio.

We're living it up
Make this night ours
We own the world
I wish this lasts forever
Alone with you tonight
Further in you feels so right.

I'm giving it up and just a little more
This heartfelt leap I surrender
With arms raised tonight.

Drive me away
cuz the night just feels right
take me away with you tonight
anywhere with you.

Our song plays on
Parked car, night sky
Alone with you tonight

- fucking awesome song! love the song and love the video! (who directed the video? I just have to remember for future transactions...hehehe...)

jevay \m/

Fish smell and the like...

2006-03-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

alright, for the past three days I'm always left alone because people in the house have their own businesses. I was told to go to the market today to buy my dogs some food and I decided to buy them some fish. Yup, we feed them fish. Anyways, its not that bad to go to the wet market, you just have to get used to it. Its actually fun because i get to observe a lot of things. However, what I can't figure out is that everytime I go there alone, my mind actually shuts down and all of a sudden, my brain becomes blank. Like a while ago, when I was heading my way to the wet market, a motorbike came passing in front of me and it was my instinct that told me "Hey! you're going to get yourself killed by a bike biatch!" and so I stopped in the middle of the road as the bike put on the breaks and stopped in front of me. I just rolled my eyes at the driver like it was his fault and started walking again.

The market is so crowded, I don't like crowded places and I freaked out easily if a man/male bumped into me. Anyways, there are so many interesting things to see. Beggars are an inevitable sight but whenever I see some old people begging for alms, I couldn't help but to bow my head and look firmly on the ground. First of all, I have nothing to give. Second, I'm starting to get pissed off because everytime I see those kinds of people, the reality that inequality actually exist in this world slaps me in the face. Third, I do not bow my head because I pity them but because I'm getting pissed off.

Pity/compassion is actually a negative thing for me. Come on, what do you feel when someone actually pity you? You feel low, you feel dirt, you feel trash, you feel little. Take it from me, many people have told me that they pity me and I'm not rejoicing every bit of it.
On a lighter side...I bought 2 kilos of fish and started to go home. I shop like a man when I'm alone. I only buy whatever is on my list, nothing more. Well...there are some exceptions of course...

I reached home and cleaned the fish! Yup! I cleaned them but if you're going to look at it, it looks horrible. I massacred it maybe. But hey, while i was cleaning the fishes I was a little sad because the fish obviously manifested the signs of cyanide/dynamite fishing. Whoa...there are still many fishermen who do this stuff, I can't believe it. The fishes' stomachs were soft and some of it has its guts showing...sheesh...I'm not an environmentalist but...cyanide/dynamite fishing leave some harmful chemicals on the fish and I don't want myself or my dogs eating it...
I smell like fish and I don't give a damn about it, i'll just take a bath afterwards. I feel a little good when I do things myself. I feel like a complete adult. Sheesh, I'm a freaking adult! i'm 19 going 20 for pete's sake! and I could go watch porn and could go to jail!!!

Well...Enough.

"...parked car this night sky..."
= 'First of Summer' by Urbandub

jevay \m/

harmless...bored...

2006-03-20T15:51:00.000+08:00

hey...vacation time already! I've been staying in the house for only two days and I'm actually getting bored! What am i doing? Aside from typing a blog entry, I'm surfing for Evan Taubenfeld's new band called "Hate Me". I've listened to one of their teasers on myspace and I must say that the song is pretty catchy. It's actually good. Evan's voice a bit mellow and cool to listen to and he has this emo-ish vibe but not that noisy. Fairly good but its too early to judge because I rate a certain song after I listened to it like 4 times.

I'm itching to go back to musician's mode again and I'm planning to apply for a call center job to by myself a gift: an electric guitar with effects...haha...i really want to play "Sugod" and i'm getting into Mong (he was featured in Urbandub's latest video "first of summer")... For the umpteenth time, I'm getting bored.

Can anyone push me on the ledge so that I could get out of my comfort zone? I know i'm not like this I just need some force or some entities to push me further...I feel like I'm being left behind...

Anyways, i'm not so worried right now but there are some thnigs that concerns me and I need to get it done. As mush as possible I don't want to engage myself again with that and I don't want to have a single fucked-up interaction with them either...I need to do this fast...

I'm ending because i'm making no sense. Wait. When was the last time I made sense when I psot my blog entry? Im out of here... it is summer and I so badly want to go to the nearest beach and contemplate...

jevay \m/

drat!

2006-03-15T22:39:00.000+08:00

I just logged in to the net to post my blog entry. Yup. That's it.

BECAUSE I have my bloody final exam on Theories of Development by tomorrow and I haven't read any of my 20 handouts (each comprises of more than 5 pages)!

Damn fanfiction! All I did the whole the afternoon was to surf the net and read some fanfiction! and speaking of...

Yay!!!! I have 6 reviews! Some are for grammatical advices (still have to improve on my tenses!) and the rest are all good! Wohoo!!!!

I'm happy...hehehe....

I love this song by Sandwich called "Sugod". The infectious guitar intro and the video is awesome! and also... I think I like Mong Alcaraz (the guitarist of Sandwich)...hee...another musician...

Its really weird...I do not feel panicky even though I haven't review my notes for tomorrow's exam... I suddenly feel lighter... and more happy-go-lucky... Aaaarrggghh!!!! I can't be like this next year! I have to practice to be always in thesis mode...

I'm blabbing obviously...i'm always blabbing... anyone who will read my entire blog might think that the author is an airhead...honestly, sometimes i love stupidity...you feel light and you won't have to endure a headached due to consistently analyzing things...
haaayyyy...tomorrow is oath taking day for the incoming officers...I don't like those kind of ceremonies but I still have to go...drat! Theories of Dev't...

My former school mate which was a close friend of my very first serious crush, popped in my mind a while ago...hmmm...i still think he's hot...but i Sasa is hotter...sheesh...i have been talking about boys lately...i think of them everyday but i rarely talk about them...

i'm not sleepy...i want to review but my mind is just so fucking lazy to digest all the words that I am reading from my notes...it suck...

jevay \m/

admit defeat! and some random babbling...

2006-03-10T18:44:00.000+08:00

good news or should i say bad news. Well, this may sound bad news but for me it is good news, wtf! the NEWS is......

I have withdrawn myself from the Model United Nations training...

Yup. Admit defeat! I can't take it anymore! the pressure of having to owe money from relatives, the pressure of my father soliciting abroad and the pressure of my mind going insane thinking and deciding if i should back out or not.

Finally, i made my decision! yeah sure, we've wasted $100 for the visa but the moment I passed my withdrawal letter to my professor, I felt really relieved! Hayy...... the chapter of my MUN shits and rants is now officially close.

ANYways, Chi-rho (Miriam's official publication) released their annual folio called 'Fragments'. The book is a collection of poems, essays, short stories, digital artworks, paintings,etc. and my poem was published! Yikeee!!!! Another dream came true! I submitted three poems actually and they told me that they have chosen all of it (I really think 'Martyrdom' should be published instead!) but when the folio came out, only one poem was published because of budget issues.

The poem is entitled "Move Ubing, Move!". Yep, inspired by my favorite OPM band Dicta License. When my friends read the poem they told me that they did not get my message. I told them that I won't tell the poem's message because I don't want to rob them the privilege of having their own interpretation to the poetry by spilling the exact meaning. Besides, they should read the poem over and over again, drown their selves into each word then have their own interpretation. From my personal opinion, poetries are really hard to understand; lots of metaphors that mirrors the author's complexities.

I saw the prettiest gay that I have ever seen so far. I sat in the middle part of the fx and then the sheman (sorry for the term) came. Heshe looked like a girl! I love the way heshe curled hisher hair and the way hisher makeup was done. Heshe was beautiful. I really hate sitting in the middle of the fx because all four people should squeeze in to be able to fit and heshe sat beside me. All four of us in the middle squeezed in so that we could close the door and heshe was practically pressing against me. I was practically aware that heshe was pressing my breasts and it was quite painful actually.

I let my breasts got squeezed by a beautiful sheman because I don't give a damn knowing that heshe is actually a gay. I'm fond of gays and the thought of getting sexually harassed by them is the last thing on my mind. Heshe is beautiful and to hell with my breasts, they're quite small to acquire breast cancer.

My lates concern is WTO and thesis. While making this blog entry, Twinks just called and we talked about the issue and we settled it. I just have to give my full trust to her and she have to do the same. We have to handle the issue like mature young ladies.

Regarding the WTO simulation, our block is in chaos because the procedure was not clearly conveyed to all of us. We are so ready to mess up our mock conference tomorrow. Goodluck...

I want this sem to close...i want to buy some stuff:

a.) an electric guitar w/ effects (a birthday gift because I badly want to cover Sandwich's
latest song "Sugod" \m/)
b.) a laptop (for thesis purposes!)
c.) blueberry cheesecake... (no explanations needed)

Sasa is still hot... I have dreams about him last night... damn my friends for talking about boyfriends, porn and love shamlessly while we were in McDo Katips...

jevay \m/

2006-03-02T16:25:00.000+08:00

i lost toto...he is my dog and i'm sad...sheesh...i really am... i cant bear to hear his moans of pain a while ago... i just cried... but im glad that he is in peace right now... right in our backyard... (by the way the pic is not toto...he is a black dog.) huhuhuhu...

....hohum...

2006-02-28T23:58:00.000+08:00

printing my MUN research...nine legal size pages all about Bangladesh sub issues... monetary? na-uh, still no progress... how many times did i tell you that I'm sick of thinking about it?

got a zit on my upper lip...not that i give it a big deal anyways, I'm not like those girls who cry over zits...

zits are like...sex... the pleasure is temporary... zits are temporary... but it can leave you some scars...black circular scars that can never be hidden by those sticky concealer...

now why did I arrived with such comparison?!

i'm sleepy by the way, so that means I have a valid excuse and obviously i'm just blabbing my ass here...

i'm suppose to paste something that I got from Saul's blog...yupyup! Saul's blog!
HOWEVER, you need to paste it to your template! and I gave up because it practically gave me a headache everytime i'm trying to fix that template! aaaarrrgghhh! web designing is a frustration!

and... guess what?! My dear country is in another political turmoil... fine, there's nothing new...
I don't want to indulge myself again regarding self-apathy and other stuff... I have had a couple of sensible debates with my 'Girlfriends' when we were in Bulacan after our diplomat's night... sheesh...using 'girlfriends' makes me feel...gay.

HEY!!! diplomatic night huh?

some news... i thought my dress looked horrible but i was surprised to see the reactions of my classmates...or maybe they were just being nice? but I don't care, i felt good actually. It went okay.

Okay. as in. Blank.

except for some incidents which made us really worried (sir Radj! hope you're okay! you scared the hell out of us!)

I was a little bit disappointed because i thought we will be bombarded with serious questions but i was wrong... it was a mere socialization and they didn't give a damn whether Russia and USA were hooking their arms with another and happily chatting (even going to the bathroom together!) with each other, instantly forgetting about their rivalry from the past years!

hayyy.... so much role playing... i did my best to master the 'art of wearing appropriate masks"... at first i was having a littly fun but it got so constricting and suffocating...

I was talking to Ms. Saviera Ubas, representative of Ghana...one my allies in the African Union (I'm representing Nigeria)
At first we discussed a little bit about trade relations then I suddenly whispered to her:
" Pucha! gusto ko nang matapos ito! (then switched to english mode when a professor passed by us) So, Madame Ambassador, how long will you be staying here in the Philippines?....blah...blah"
due to some incidents and i don't wnat to elaborate on it... we have to cut it short...so much the better!

after the event we were left to clean some stuff and since one of my friends was the organizer and we will sleep at her house in Bulacan, so we have to help her clean...

stripping ourselves off the masks that we wore that evening, we wandered from table to table to eat the blueberry cheesecakes and the chocolate eclairs that were not consumed by the students during dinner... we don't want to waste our P1,300...the cheesecake adn the eclair were delicious by the way...

my back ached because during the whole event I kept sitting up straight and was doing it for the sake of poise and social grace....

it was freedom when we jumped in Shasta's car and went off to Bulacan! moviefest the whole day and reminisce britney spears! (shucks...its a secret...) then during meals, we engaged ourselves in heated debates...

goddam politics...

zits are temporary and so is sex...

hey, Colin Farell is hot... he's the type that will slam you in bed...

shit.have.to.end.this.

jevay \m/

Wanted: Cooked

2006-02-24T20:31:00.000+08:00

Tangnang yan! buwiset talaga! Why do Gma have to broadcast 24 oras in both channels(QTV 11 and GMA 7)?! Di ko tuloy napanood ung MARS! Not everybody is obsessed with the fucking news about the rally today and I'm going to shamelessly admit that I am one of them who is not obsessed! I do give a damn about everything that is happenning within this country and I have heard enough shit from 5:30 in the morning up to 8:00 in the evening! Can i have at least some Breather?!?! Mars is the breather but GMA aired 24 oras on QTV! That's completely senseless because they have a news show called QTV news by 9:00 pm!

Media is exaggerating again! Aaaarrrgggghhh!!!! Profit! This country is being run by bussinessmen who would go to anyone's sides just to protect their interest of gaining profit! Where is a statesman when you need her/him? This country needs a statesman!

And all these rantings were ignited by just missing my favorite soap opera! Nalantad na ako sa kabulukan ng sistema ng ibang departamento ng bansang ito at ako'y nalulungkot! Sana maging presidente na si Chel! (Chel! ano ha? magtatag na tayo ng nuclear plant?! para idevelop ang Pilipinas bilang isang nuclear power?! ano ha? hehehe...kidding...The US embassy might not grant my visa...hehe)

hayhay...di ko napanood ang MARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Naka-talaga! wala ngang pasok pero langyang GMA yan! pinalabas pa ung 24 oras sa TV!!! Argh talaga!

Apathetic? Kung alam nyo lang...hindi noh! I try to be one pero how could you be apathetic kung lahat ng lesson mo sa class mo ay tungkol sa mga problema ng mundo na dulot ng mga walang kwenta at mga taong ang tanging alam lang gawin ay protektahan ang pansariling interes?!
Pag nasa course ka namin, you'll get frustrated! (esp. when Africa and US is the topic) I get frustrated all the time! That is why I need a breather! and GMA took that away from me tonight by not airing MARS! Now I'm more frustrated!

Loads of weight to carry for those who want to change this goddam country... you might get assasinated but hell...astig yun di ba? yun nga lang...you need lots of balls *ahem!* should I say 'you need guts' ('balls' is too gender biased) to make things happen.

jevay \m/

p.s. yung title pala ng entry ko: nakita ko yan sa isang carinderiang naghahanap ng kusinero/kusinera - "Wanted: Cooked"... nakakatuwa di ba? nakakatawa pala...

miting de avanse...or whatever its goddam spelling

2006-02-20T20:21:00.000+08:00

pwede bang magserbisyo na lang? kasi nakakainisi ung kelangan mo pang ikampanya ung sarili... maglalagay ng langis para bolahin ang mga tao upang iboto sila.........

shet....i hate speaking in a large number of people...why can't i just be a leader and serve (including organizing the peace concert) and spare me the talking?!

oo naintindihan ko nung sinabi ni chel na its part of being a leader....hayhayhay... sabi ko di ako gagalaw ng pc pero heto ako ngayon, nagba-blog, nakikipagchat kay yoj at tinutuloy ang naunsyaming fanfic...

maluwag na sa kalooban ko na malaki ang porsyento na hindi na ako makakasama sa MUN...hayyy.... but i'm pushing through with the visa interview...pag hindi ako natuloy...it only meant somethings: don't rush, baka pagkagraduate mas marami akong opportunities to go out of the country; i could concentrate as a volunteer for the Divine Mobile center for music and arts for special children and adults; magkakaroon ng endless tambay with Twinks, Shas at Chel!!!!!!!!

I know....di ako makakascore ng jamming with the summer jamming mates...the hell...pursigido akong ituloy un...make or break na ito... i want to do my passion...nung sinubukan kong iwaksi ang music for the rest of this sem, biglang naman akong hinila pabalik... biro mo, wala akong balak manood ng Rock On2, pero due to my impulsiveness, bigla ko na lang tinext si yoj para yayain........hayyyyyyyyy...i'm back on track..............

first of all...i need to do this training na finoformulate ko sa utak ko after graduation ifever i really want to pursue yung band... hindi ko sasabihin! pero pag naaccomplish ko ito...everything follows...............

end na ha? haba na nito........

jevay \m/

sentimyento ukol sa mga lalaki...

2006-02-19T19:55:00.000+08:00

dumarami na ang mga bading sa mundo ito!

don't be mistaken, i have nothing against gays (i have close friends who are gays) but everyday their existence seem to be growing and growing and quite alarming because you couldn't tell already who's who...

dapat hindi na ako nagugulat dito kasi hitik ang coruse namin sa mga gender awareness topic pero...pucha naman... nakakagulat lang talaga...

Sample: nagpunta kami ng mall, and went inside this boutique to find a dress. We spotted these two dudes inside the store,who was wearing a red shirt and the other one was in a nursing uniform. My friends were quite busy looking for dresses inside the boutique and i just sat somewhere because of boredom when i spotted them. The nurse dude was cute: CUTE although he is super white (i'm not really into milky skinned guys) but he is cute, he looked like a japanese anime character according to Shasta. Both of them passed by in front of the dress racks where i seated and they headed to a couch in a corner near the fitting room.

'ang cute nya...' una kong naisip...

'but something's really green about them...'

Ayun na, na confirm na. The guy with the red shirt put his hand on the small of the back of the nursing guy. Miski kahit anong gawin ng utak ko para tanggalin ung pagiging malisyoso...wala pa rin...my green mind and my active perv radar dominated my brain...

my friend sat beside me while we wait for another friend who was fitting some dress. I secretly craned my neck to look at the couple and saw the nursing guy with his hand running on the red shirted guy's thigh. Di ako nagulat, kumbaga kunwari parang araw araw na ako nakakakita ng ganon.

Siniko ko ang aking friend sabay bulong ng:

"gay..."

tumingin sya sa akin at kumunot ang noo.

"gay couple at the corner." bulong ko ulit.

"owss...?" sabi nya.

"tignan mo." Tumayo ang aking kaibigan at lumapit sa may dress rack para kunwari tumitingin siya ng dress pero ang totoo tinitingnan nya ung couple. Ilang saglit lang, bumalik na siya.

"sigurado ka? ang gwapo pa naman nung naka uniform para siyang anime." sabi niya.

"oo, pinatong nga nung isa ung kamay sa hita eh."

"baka naman malisyoso ka lang. Mukha kasi silang lalaki...parang hindi talaga."

"malisyoso nga ako kaya nga may something weird...pero ewan ko...parang talaga."

Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto at tapos nang magsukat ang isa naming kaibigan, lumabas na kami ng boutique at nakasalubong namin ang couple na kalalabas lang sa fitting room ng SABAY!
Kunwari deadma pero nang nagnakaw kami ng sulyap sa kanila, minamasahe na nung red shirt dude si nursing dude then holding hands na.

Biglang kinilabutan si shasta...gwapo rin kasi ung naka red shirt...hayyyhayyy....nagkaroon siya ng goosebumps nung makita nya yun...hayy...hayyy...bakit daw di pa sila pinamigay sa amin?!?!

sabi ko grabe! bumabalik na naman ung uso noong historical times... Pretty boy loves Pretty boy...shucks....

Mahirap nang makakita ng lalaking swak sa kung anumang preference mo...

kung type mo bakla naman.

kung may gusto sayo hindi mo naman type.

kung type mo may asawa naman!

kung type mo tapos type ka matanda naman sayo parang tatay mo.

kung type ka niya tapos type mo siya kaibigan mo naman siya.

boyfriend material nga siya pero kaibigan lang ang turing sa iyo.

boyfriend material nga siya pero nakababatang kapatid naman ang tingin sa iyo!

syyyeeeettt...i hope the gay thing is just a trend...

jevay \m/

of blueberry cheesecake and mrt...

2006-02-18T21:18:00.000+08:00

fter the horrifying stampede, the leyte landslide came into picture. tragedies...this country has a lot of those and this country celebrate tragedies... death of rizal, death of bonifacio, fall of bataan...etc...

On the lighter side of life... i finally satisfied my craving for blueberry cheesecake!!!!! I've been wanting to eat a slice of that damn cake since last week and it felt heaven when I ate one! that ticklish taste of cream cheese and blueberry...yummy...

we just cut one class and headed to the mall to unwind...guilt? a little but we did not do anything wrong...well...except...cut class...

right now...i'm blank and i have a path that i want to take...BUT i know it will change again... i just want to do this thing...the thing is clear that i don't belong in that world...goddam politics!

They claim to be realist...the reality that you have to conform, the reality that you have to be fake, the reality that you should master the art of wearing appropriate masks... that reality to realists is that there is a necessity to be articially real...

hayyyy.................................................

drained.bored.eager.passionata.

jevay \m/

p.s. Yael nagsuntukan ba kayo nung ulol sa UP fair? cool lang ha? pero if you did... hands down man!

mArs...

2006-02-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

just finished watching Mars!!! I'm in love... i find vic zhou attractive because of his role in meteor garden as an introvert and it so fit him. In this tsinovela, he played a different role. I like Mars personally because it is not just a typical teen love story and the characters have different psychological issues and internal conflicts that they have to deal with...

The downer: I can only watch Mars three times a week because of the MUN training...we have a different trainer now because Mrs. B has to take care of her medical conditions (i wish you well madam!) and Mrs. Vene is really excellent! she was the first professor i encountered that made me love my course: International Studies but the pressure is on! I'm so pushing through with my visa interview but still with no assurance that I'm assured of going to the MUN...

how the hell can i earn $2,000 within two months?!?! can somebody fucking tell me? hayyy... i'm finished with daydreaming and whatever the outcome (if i will go or not) I accept it whole heartedly...

no opportunity to lose! if i do not go: I will have OJT at the local scene together with shas, twinks and michelle... If i do: i will see New York, i will grasp snow...

SO.BE.IT.

jevay \m/

Brokeback Mountain

2006-02-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

I want to watch this movie...BADLY! I've never watched any slash flicks before (even that movie from Dennis Trillo and Jay Manalo) and i'm extremely curious! I want to watch Brokeback Mountain!!! Who would want to join? Raise a hand please? It is rated R and although I hate turning 19, being an adult has its advantages and to be able to watch this movie with below 18 as an impediment will not be a problem!

I texted my gay friend if he could watch it with me so that he could somehow...you know...share some insights but he did not reply yet! MC friends are a bit hesitant to watch this film because they know it will be 'masagwa' but heck, this should be an eye opener! Since i'm straight, I'm curious how gays handle their relationship or fine! I'm curious how they act...yeah whatever... getting awkward...

Heath Ledger is in this movie! I'm curious how gay can he be in the film! sheesh... this curiousity might kill me... I don't care... I want to watch it! who wants to watch it??? raise a hand please????

jevay \m/

2006-02-12T14:05:00.000+08:00

sheesh...conj...

2006-02-12T14:03:00.000+08:00

Pao Santiago - drummer of JOIN THE CLUB

2006-02-12T14:00:00.000+08:00

congie lulu - bass player of OPM band JOIN THE CLUB

Vic Zhou...sigh

2006-02-08T21:13:00.000+08:00

soooooooooooooooooooooooo hot.....

he look so Filipino and he looks like A-jay (highschool dude during my highschool year who is equally hot) and MARS gave me the reason to go home eagerly at night before 7:30 pm...

enough said.... he's my tipo...

jevay \m/

fuck social graces...

2006-02-08T20:58:00.001+08:00

fuck etiquette! the art of wearing a mask...sheesh...not good...but i have to engage with it...

what am i talking about? diplomatic night... socialization of the ambassadors...yeah, my professor said that it is normal to conform...and I'm not comfortable wearing a dress and with eyes watching my every move everytime I eat!

im still having the same dilemma: MUN...aaarrggghhhhhh!!!!!

fine I met Jestoni Alarcon but that doesn't ease my worries about the issue of money! and visa! its putting so much pressure on me...

people around those politicians are so pathetic! there was one who striked a conversation with my mom and he is so proud about how many connections does he have...name droppings!

drop.dead.boring.and.outright.pathetic.

so many realizations and bolder moves to make.....

end.

have this Rizal paper to do!

jevay \m/

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-01-29T17:31:00.000+08:00

my mind is soooooo blank...

i'm currently finishing another development but this time its a 15-page term paper

wow...how good is that?

then tomorrow (monday:) i have my afternoon class for my MUN (model united nations) training and i haven't studied those countries!!!!!

up to now i'm still fucking scared because I'm not really that confident that i will gather enough money for the MUN trip..... sigh...uneven distribution of resources! i can do that MUN thing and I'm confident about that but money suck big time! I dont have enough money to for a California trip and i have to ask for sponsorship!......

sigh..... i don't know...please give me an immediate sign that i cannot go so that i could drop out of this incredible opportunity as soon as possible....... its driving me insane!!!!!!!!!

fuck...dev't paper...

jevay \m/

suck...sucks... to hell with it...

2006-01-23T19:13:00.001+08:00

i've been dealing with stuff lately and i have been thinking of second thoughts... its frustrating me already and i have loads of work to do... one thing i am sure of, i don't want to work at the congress... its where you ask help, fine, but the environment is not very welcoming...there's this certain air, an aura perhaps that is not that inviting to people...

maybe their ears get too tired of hearing or seeing people asking for their help and for sponsorhip (uy...that's very familiar...hee) and i just want the ground to swallow me... i'm not really sure whether i want to be involve in an environment like that because it just suck my whole energy and happiness...another dementor...

hell...i'm still unsure about everything...soul searching is definitely a loooooooonggggggg process... i'm young but i'm getting tired... i just want to be a child again and not indulge myself in the world of adults (hmm.... even sex for that matter... HUWHAT?!?!) most of the adults i have encountered are grumpy except for my college professors who aged gracefully... i want to be like them, aging but fiery with intelligence and oozing with youthful charms...

hayyy....blabbing... i'm getting comments from different people like a camp ranger and a business woman, that's cool... i still have a test for theories of dev't and Congressman Escudero will be in our school tomorrow...yipeee!!! college girls like him... intelligent and wicked... haha...

have to end this.....

jevay \m/

back to reality

2006-01-15T18:46:00.000+08:00

i'm glad to be home after that 3-day seminar at Bayview Hotel (or should I say: 'Bellview Hotel') and yes, its back to reality...

the seminar was fun and at the same time tiring... i still haven't finish reading Sidney Sheldon's The sky is falling and Dan Brown's "angels and demons" and there are lots of school works waiting for me...

we will be having our last G.A for Pax christi tomorrow and for tuesday, I have to review to for our report on Theories on dEv't since Coco and I were the only ones who got the correct answer for our schematic something (i forgot the term)...

right now, I'm tracking all the delegates of YAPLeS to add their names to YM and friendster account and some of the email addresses were typographically incorrect...

i miss singing and most of the delegates were absolutely bad-ass singers but I've already stopped singing church songs... so what i mean by 'i miss singing'...i miss singing in a band... right now, my path is blurry and as what the facilitators have said: soul-searching can be a long time process.........

enough blabbing... I'm ending...

jevay \m/

a convert... (i hope so...)

ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHH.... fanfic!

2006-01-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

something's wrogn with Fanfiction.net... ican't fucknig upload my story!!!! whenever I click NEW STORY and that button: "first step: click to select category", a pop up window will appear with all the main categories but when I select one, nothing seems to happen. THe button for the "select sub-category" is inactive..... please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2005-11-30T09:09:00.000+08:00

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jevay \m/

Rock Gods....

2005-11-02T21:01:00.000+08:00

I'm fed up...... ang daming naglilitawang mga magagaling na mga banda and I'm in love...hehe...

Rock Gods...

My first one was Scott Moffatt of THE MOFFATTS. This group was a hit in the Philippines. They were known to be the rock side of the Backstreet Boys (nyerk?) I refused to believe it but theirChapter 1: A new beginning album has some bubblegum pop feel. BUT, I stil think they're a bad-ass band. Para makatugtug ka nang instrumento starting age of 4-5 at launching a career as a rock band at the age of 14/15 para sa akin magaling sila. I've seen their concert a tv and personally, I think they're way way too good for their age...I was 12 when I thought that Scott Moffatt is sexy and I still do think so...

Ngayon, marami na akong rock gods, tulad nina Kurt Cobain at Steven Tyler pati si Freddie (tama ba?) Mercury ng Queen...

I caught My Chemical Romance's Diary on MTV last night and confirmed that I'm in love with GERARD WAY, MCR's vocalist and his brother too, MIKEY WAY (MCR bassist). Magaling si Gerard Way, isa siya sa mga vocalist na hinuhugot lahat ng emosyon kapag kumakanta at yung songs na nirelease nila so far na I'm Not Okay, Helena at Ghost of You ay kapwa powerful songs...

Sa vid. ng Ghost of You, ang gwapo niya pag maikli buhok tapos nung may close-up shot sa ending, ang ganda ng mata niya... sheesh....he has some pretty long curly eyelashes...

LOCAL SCENE:::

I have two rock gods namely Yael Yuzon of Spongecola and Saul Ulanday of Rampqueen.

Parehas sila vocalist and they're both absolutely amazing!

For a long time na naghari ang mga boybands na sa wakas ay nawala naman, Spongecola was the firts OPM Band na nagustuhan after ng umusbong ang kasikatan ng Eraserheads, Siakol, Parokya ni Edgar, etc. Galing ni Yael! isa pa siyang powerful ang boses at pag pinakikingganmo siya, yung boses niya bumabalot sa buong kapaligiran mo...sincere and powerful...

Nasulat ko na rin sa previous blog entries ko ung experience ko with Spongecola sa Robinson Junction Cainta gig, pakihanap na lang iyon kasi detailed ang description ko kung gaano ka-talented si Yael.

Next::::

DITO tinablan ako ng husto... pag napapakinggan ko boses nito wala akong ginawa kundi bumuntong hininga o kaya ipikit ang aking mga mata...

Si SAUL ULANDAY ng Rampqueen...hayhayhay... First of All, extra bad-ass ang bandang Rampqueen! Dito ko nalaman na ang madami-dami ang mga Filipino indie bands oozing with talents na nagtatago sa mga bars o kaya sa mga fair (hindi kasi ako pinapayagang manood ng gig kaya nakakapanghinayang nahindi ko madidiskubre ung iba pang talented Fil-indie bands).
Balik tayo kay Saul, ang boses naman nito: SEXY. Yung type ng music ng Rampqueen ay mala-Deftones at hindi ako nakikinig ng gaanong tyep ng music, eh pucha! pagdating sa Rampqueen natunaw ako...

Bawat buka ng bibig ng lalaking ito sa mga kanta sa kanilang EP ay nakakaakit. Bawat stress ng syllables iba talaga ung dating. Siguro nasa kalagitnaanlang ako ng pagka-akit ko sa kanya kaya medyo may exagerration ako pero nakanaman, anyone who has good ears sasabihin na ang lakas ng dating ni Saul.

Yung paghawak niya ng mic at paggalaw niya (base lang sa pictures kasi di ko pa sila napapanood ng live) nagreresemble kay Brandon Boyd (isa pang sexy rocker!)ng Incubus...

mga bokalista/gitarista, kahinaan ko sila... yun lang...hehe \m/

jevay \m/

Twisted Little Minds

2005-11-01T15:54:00.001+08:00

uy! long tym no upd8s! ang tagal na! balik ulit ak odito sa blogger kc kelangan ko nang magkaroon ng permanent blog dahil ang dami-dami kong na sign-up na mga live journals, tabulas, at kung anu-ano pa pero itutuloy ko pa rin ung paggawa ng website ko sa geocities....

anyways....ung picture? ano ung picture???? nangyari yan nung SEPTEMBER 7, 2005. OO, banda yan at ako yang nasa mic. hehehe....

Twisted Little Minds ang bandname, it came out of the blue from our drummer's mouth kasi pinagmamadali kaming mag-isip ng pangalan. Nakuha nya yung name sa lecture ng aming Nationalism prof.

Art-IS-ta nyt ang pangalan ng event na inorganize ng aming org ISSOC (International Studies Society) to showcase IS talents.... well not of whole of it kasi mas marami pang outside bands kesa sa mga IS students.

Si Mon (drummer) at ako ay nagbalak na magperform nung nalaman namin na may ganitong event and to fulfill my longtime dream na rin. Nagkaroon kami ng problema sa paghanap ng gitarista kasi si joey/yoj ay makaattend attend ng jamming, luckily mon found a good one named Trisha at ung bassist came from Mon's other called Talitha Cumi.

We played 2 songs. Same GRound (kitchie), actually nagkaroon kami ng little debate dito, pare-parehas namin ayaw tugtugin kasi nakakaantok sa song na toh, but due to time restriction pinerform na namin kasi alangan namang isang song lang kantahin namin...

the second song was Cool Off (session road), nagustuhan ko ung performance namin dito at buti nagawan ng paraan ung isang segment ng drum part...

the performance was awesome! sumablay man kami ng onti ayus lang! i had fun! I hope sina mon, trisha at koshi did the same.

madaling tumugtog pag alam mong maraming sumusuporta sayo pero the feedback was positive....... and ifever na hindi man naging positive ung feedback..I can't afford to care kasi I was flying.............

Ang sarap ng feeling when you're on stage, napakagaan... When we were playing the bass solo of Cool Off, I thought I was going to burst because of overjoy... miski banda-bandahan lang to, the experivence was priceless, di ko ipagpapalit sa iba... iba ung pagperform sa choir kaysa with a band.... iba yung rush.... iba ung adrenaline....

Salamat kay Mon (drums) , Trisha (guitars) at Koshi (bass) for making my dream possible... sarap sobra! baka mas masarap pa yun sa wordly pleasure.....

ayan ah.... sa wakas! di na rin ako frustrated vocalist....

roar!!!!!!!!!

jevay\m/

hayy.... TV

2005-04-20T16:14:00.000+08:00

kapapanood ko lang ng Now and Forever the other day.... lam nyo yun? ung kina star truck...este starstruck survivors 2..... addict kasi sa dramahan tong mga ksama ko sa bahay kya damayan na...... ang TV nga naman, sabi it samples reality pero para sa akin.... HINDE! hindi pa rin noh! nung nalaman ni Princess punzalan na buhay pa si Melody (a.k.a Ryza cenon) alam mo ba kung ano lang nasabi nya? e ano kundi: "Ano?" isang malamyang "ano?". pucha kung ang taong gustung gusto ko nang mapatay eh nalaman kong buhay pa, hindi lang "ano?" ang sasabihin ko kundi "Putang ina! pano nangyari yun?!!!!! peste!" miski mayaman ang isang pilipino nasasabi toh..... hayyy...... nweiz, yun lang naman ung mga reklamo ko.... hehe..... sige

jevay \m/

2005-04-14T13:11:00.000+08:00

WANTED: drummer

ah...hello..........
ganito kasi yun...gusto nyo bang mag jamming??? in need sana kami ng drummer siguro mga 18-21 yrs. old nasa area ng antipolo, cainta, marikina,...jamming place kasi namin ay nasa junction........ mas prefer namin sana guy...
sa ngayon jamming lang talaga ang inaatupag naminnag cocover kami ng sponge to avril, main influences ay mainstream pop alternative......... two girls and a guy kami ......
we write our own song... okay lang kung kahit ano influences nyo mas maganda kung flexible...importante kasi nag memeet tayo halfway...if you are interested

contact YOJ: 09164003984 ...sasabihin nya sa inyo lahat ng details about the band........ or e-mail me : subjev@yahoo.com
we're looking to jam with you and hopefully make some good music... siguro kung titingnan ang future influences ng banda it would be parang mala imago or session road or basta pop alternative........
sige \m/

2005-04-14T13:09:00.000+08:00

hello............. imbes na nakatambay sa bahay...ako'y nagsasummer for stat! nampota! kasalanan ko bang maging mahina sa algebra???????? naku.... wala pa ring drummer........gusto ko nang mabuo ang banda namin......................... tsk.....hmm..........panu kaya yun............. sana dumating na.............

2005-04-05T18:59:00.000+08:00

last entry
by: christine joy rivero
chi rho 2005 FRAGMENTS

2005-04-05T18:54:00.000+08:00

stab my heart,
slit my throat,
take all my possessions,
I love you anyway

and by the way, you do not have to love me back.

Scorching heat

2005-04-01T16:33:00.000+08:00

the sun ... i'm more in love with the midnight blackness
grabe sobrang init sa pilipinas at mas malala pa nung nakaraang taon....
updates? eto na po: we found our lead guitarist named Ja-mes. It was a surprise to receive a response from him... unang unja hindi ko inaasahan, pangalawa i never thought that he would be interested kasi ang tingin ko sa kanya talagang studies ang priority. Well, ganun naman talaga siya at saka hindi pa naman kami nakakapag jam together sana mga april 16, tri mester kasi siya eh kaya ang hirap...........sa ngayon , nasa isip ko na for fun lang muna ito, kung ito maging kapalaran ko after college why not? di ba? drummer na lang ang kulang... hayyy..... super init........... well... basta kung saan dalhin.... kung gusto NYA na maging exceptional being ako eh di masaya! all my life i treated myself as an average person............................................ yun lang...... \m/

2005-03-09T11:35:00.000+08:00

calling all INTROVERT MUSICIANS who wants to work with TWO INTROVERT MUSICIANS....read on

musta? ganito kasi yun.... ako at ang isa kong kaibigan ay naghahanap ng mga kabanda: lead guitars, basista at drummer..... preferably mga lalake na may edad 18-21 na nakatira around the area of antipolo, cainta, marikina or quezon city.... kung interesado kayo contact JOEY at: 09164003984 at sasabihin niya sa inyo ang lahat tungkol sa mga bagay bagay at sana pag nasabi na niya sa inyo un eh, you have to make up your mind if you want to give us a shot... syempre we have to see kung okay rin kayo as musician kasi hindi lang naman palin bandmates ang hanap namin dapat makasundo rin namin at may commitment...,.basta pag sinabi na ni joey sa inyo maiintindihan nyo.... at when it comes to influences of music.... kahit maski ano pero dapt flexible rin siya sa iba't iabng genre maski mainstream pop yan or what...kasi mas masaya kung may iba't ibang interpretation sa isang kanta miski una siya nabuo with a poppy feel...... ano feel nyo? basta txt JOEY at... I repeat : 09164003984... un lang mga dude........ we're looking forward to make good music with you!!!!!

kahit sino basta mas prefer mga lalake..... okay sige na nga maski hindi introvert musician ayus na rin.....